If I close my eyes I can go back there … back to when I was a young mom trying to take three over-active boys to Target. I was not beyond bribery! Popcorn and an Icee got me through many a tough time. But even then we usually left in tears.
Although I adored my three little boys, there was a constant inner struggle to get back to the me I was before children. It was like I was watching the clock, waiting for the next stage of development that would bring some “normalcy” back to my life.
In my devotion today, I share a bit about when things started to change; when I admitted that trying to reclaim my “old” life was not going to happen. Click here to read the lesson God taught me from the life of David on how to say goodbye to something you loved.
I promised to tell our devotion readers a bit more about the story. So here’s what happened.
When Robbie was three, my husband’s company closed their Phoenix office. He was the manager and they offered him a position in another state. But we weren’t interested in moving … at least that’s what I thought.
When a past co-worked asked Tod to consider a position in Charlotte, North Carolina, my husband took a trip to check it out. All the while saying he wasn’t interested … at least that’s what he thought.
After a few days on that scouting trip, my husband came home saying he wanted to move. Across country. With no family. And no church. No friends. And me having meltdowns every trip to Target. etc, etc, etc.
I knew I could say no and we wouldn’t move, but for the first time in my life, I heard God speak clearly to me. He said, “Your husband has never demanded his way. You need to say ‘yes’.”
So I gritted my teeth and said yes, crying when my husband wasn’t around.
We moved to Charlotte and I fell into a serious funk. I won’t call it depression, but I was so very sad and lonely. The crying continued, and three tender little boys learned to hand their momma tissues.
After a few weeks we found a church, and a few weeks later on a Sunday morning, God started to reveal His plans. Turns out it didn’t really have to do with my husband’s job. It had to do with my heart.
One Sunday morning, the pastor invited a young woman up to share her story. I’d never heard anyone speak like that before and was moved deep in my heart. Later that week, I was driving and heard this same woman’s voice on the radio. It was Lysa TerKeurst.
And then I heard God for the 2nd time in my life. He said: “Call her and volunteer.”
So I did. And in the fall of 1998, God introduced me to a tiny band of women sharing the message of the value of being a wife and mother. It was the beginning of Proverbs 31 Ministries.
As part of my first volunteer assignment, I read back issues of the Proverbs 31 Homemaker newsletter , and discovered my primary ministry was in my home. I read about other women learning to honor their husbands’ in their hearts. And how motherhood was a calling as high as any position I might attain through my efforts.
My heart was undone, and my life took a 180-degree turn. God rearranged my priorities and I’m so glad He did.
That was 16 years ago, and I’m still learning to look for what God is doing now – not looking over my shoulder. Those lessons sustained me through many hard years as we adopted two girls from Africa in 2005 and stepped in to the pain of our daughters. I’ve learned when it seems God has me “on hold,” it’s really a new assignment.
Perhaps that’s where you are today. Feeling like the world is passing you by. May I speak some hope into that place of waiting?
God hasn’t forgotten you. He hasn’t turned His attention from you and on to someone else. He knows exactly where you are and what your days look like. He sees your tears, and knows your sadness. And I am confident, He has a plan to bring you joy again.
There is something He wants you to learn in this season. And I imagine it has something to do with knowing Him in a new way.
So hold on, and focus on worshiping Him. Play praise music. Start every day with a Psalm. Learn some old hymns. Write in a gratitude journal. Praise God for who He is, and let His comfort and peace rest on you.
I’m so glad you joined me today. And if you haven’t read my devotion, please hop over there as my publisher is giving away copies of my book, I Used to Be So Organized. All you have to do is leave a comment on the P31 Encouragement for Today blog and we’ll select five readers to receive a copy.
Wishing you joy!