Burned out and want to quit

Last month a friend shared with me that she had reached the point of burnout in her job … which happens to be in full-time ministry.

The joy she once had was gone.

The creativity was missing.

The vision was diminished.

The compassion that once characterized everything she did was a shadow of what it used to be.  And in place of what had been life-giving, was now insecurity and even numbness …

Wow … I know what that feels like.  I know what it feels like to be drained of energy in a certain area of my life.  Not for the same reasons my friend faced.  Although different circumstances, we share the same result:  burnout.

My circumstances are harder to talk about.  But occasionally God prompts me to share one of the hardest challenges I’ve ever faced, and today is one of those days.  If you are a relatively new reader to my blog, you might not know that my husband and I adopted two little girls from Liberia Africa in 2005.  While we knew it wouldn’t be easy, we didn’t know the price our entire family would pay to help these precious ones find healing and hope.

One of the two has cognitive damage which will permanently affect her ability to manage in this world independently.  The other has emotional pain which goes very deep and will also affect her ability to manage, but in a different, likely even harder way.

Because of early hurts, this daughter has serious difficulty relating to the world in an honest way.  Her damaged thinking affects everything, and causes multiple daily conflicts – most small, but their frequency wears me down.  I totally understand and have had compassion on her.  But after 6-1/2 years of constantly being “on alert,” it’s getting really hard to maintain a positive attitude. I’m not where I should be emotionally and it’s time to call it what it is: burnout.

This morning, as I sat with my Bible, hot coffee and a quiet moment with God, I confessed my burnout with this situation.  I confessed my emptiness and my inability to force myself to “snap out of it” and stop being so frustrated. There’s also a sense of helplessness, because it’s not like I can quit for awhile.

And as He always does, my heavenly Father met me there. I received compassion that came from Someone  intimately knowing my struggles.  But rather than offering me 10 steps to overcome burnout,  I  got perspective.   Just when thoughts of “I don’t deserve to be treated this way in my own house!” hit my mind, God reminded me that His Son didn’t deserve to be treated that way in His own world!  And it’s no surprise I’m facing hardship for doing His will.

This hit me in a new way.  I have never compared my parenting struggle to others who face true persecution for their faith. Mostly because my daughter is the one who has truly suffered.  So I’ve dismissed my challenges, even though they are very real.  But today, God reminded me that I am called to share in His suffering and right now this feels like suffering.

It was no accident that I’ve been reading through 1 Peter.  I’d like to share some of my morning reading found in chapter 4:12-17.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15 If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16 However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17 For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God?

God didn’t call us to adopt two physically and emotionally whole children.  We were called to get down in the mud and pull two mired children out.  It’s messy, exhausting and confusing work.  And there is suffering and a spiritual battle on our part to do it.  Finally admitting this has opened my eyes to persecution passages in the  Gospel like nothing else.

I don’t put my suffering on the same level as true martyrs or my brothers and sisters who would be killed for speaking the name of Jesus aloud.  No … I don’t count myself among their ranks at all. But by admitting my own kind of pain and distress for doing the will of Christ has opened me to God’s strength in a new way.  And as odd as this may sound, there’s a little kernel of joy deep inside at the thought of sharing in Christ’s suffering.

Just so you know, we have sought professional help for years, and continue to do so.  God is currently opening new doors for specialized help and we are awaiting our daughter’s acceptance into a Christian program designed for girls who have suffered what she has suffered.  If you think of it, please pray for her. Thank you.

Parenting is hard.  I don’t think I’m the only one to feel like I’m suffering at times.  So if that’s where you are today, I hope you’ll take comfort like I did in rereading some verses about suffering for Christ.  I pray they plant a seed of joy in you as well for walking the path our Savior walked for us.

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

 

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Comments

  1. says

    Oh, Glynnis….thank you for sharing this so beautifully. Love you friend. Praying and knowing HE will show Himself strong to you as your beautiful heart demonstrates “true religion” ~ taking care of precious orphans.

    2 Chr. 16:9 ~ For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.

    Love and continual prayers….
    Sharon

  2. says

    Good morning Glynnis ~
    My heart goes out to you. We are called to suffer, yes…but that doesn’t make it any easier. I am so glad to hear that you have found that little kernel of joy, but you still have these difficulties to face daily.
    May peace and comfort be with you, Glynnis. I have prayed for your daughter…for both daughters and for you. As you continue to love your family, I know the Lord will be there, with you, to strengthen you and to give you what you need to carry on.
    I am also glad to hear you have involved professionals; a huge help in times of trouble. I pray you continue to receive support from others, and again, I pray your daughters remain under the gentle guidance of our Lord Jesus.
    I pray you have a day filled with peace and guidance. I pray you always remember, even in times of grief, to turn to Jesus. I know when I am in grief, I too often turn inside myself, believing no one can help me. But we do know differently, don’t we? He is always there to comfort and guide us.
    Bless you, dear Glynnis. May our Almighty Lord continue to bless you and your family.

    • Glynnis says

      Judi – your words have touched me deeply. Thank you for taking the time to ministering to me with kindness and prayer.

  3. Colleen G. says

    Good morning. This is a very powerful post and Thank You for sharing. Please know that you & your family will be in my prayers.
    -Colleen G.

  4. Jillian says

    Thank you for sharing. I like the comparison you’ve brought to light for me this morning. I’m anxious now to share this blog with my friends

  5. Joy says

    Thank you so much for this. We adopted 4 children locally-one with physical handicaps and one with severe emotional needs-all precious children. Guilt, anger, more guilt about my anger, resentment, I have run the gamut of emotions at times, tired and burned out. Right now all 4 are in the exhausting, emotional, exciting ‘tween and early teen years, 11-14. I do seek strength and encouragement in His Word daily. I know that we are a family by God’s design and He created each of our children for His purpose. Your insightful words have encouraged me this morning. You’ve given me a new perspective on God’s plan for MY life. So thankful that God provides for all our needs, just when we need it. Great is His faithfulness. Lam. 3:23

    • sue says

      It is great to hear the honesty about your guilt. I have so been there also. We adopted 2 children, 14yrs ago. It has been worth it because they have found God. But the battles are long and tiring. I don’t know how people get through a day without God in it to help them through.
      Thanks for being honest about you being angry. I feel so guilty about getting angry. I know the devil works on that guilt also. I told the devil these r my kids and I will fight you all the way to keep them safe. We all have to keep claiming the scripture, bring your child up in the way they should go and when they r old they will not depart from it.
      We had to move our daughter out this past week. She was ripping us up emotionally. She has mood disorder and switches for a good girl to sybil. She is almost 20, but the problems I thought would be easier r not. I think I was trying to fool myself. But God is ruler and he has a plan for us and them. I am grateful God chose us to raise them even though the journey has been really rough. Some days I just tell God I am resting in the palm of your hand cause I am burnt, and need to be renewed. thanks

    • Glynnis says

      Joy and Sue – I completely know the mental battle. I declare God’s truth daily over my faulty thoughts. We are in such a tough season, and my emotions are seldom in sync with my decision to obey God and love this one in my care. The emotions are so complicated I can’t always seem to sort them out.

      People ask me if we regret adopting our daughters. And I don’t even hesitate when I say NO. I don’t regret obedience. I just wish I had gotten help sooner.

      We absolutely can’t judge each other in this – only support each other for ALL of our health.

  6. Karen Jackson says

    Thank you so much, once again! I welcome your blogs and devotionals because they are so true and real. So many times you candidly share your struggles with us without knowing how we (me) are touched. I am so thankful for your gift so many times, that tell me “keep on going!”
    Today it would be my pleasure to pray God would fill and empower you to continue and surge ahead. As for your precious family, may HE cover and PROTECT you all!! I(WE) ask for freedom in some form or another for your situation as my Father can do all things, and nothing is impossible for Him (nor us),
    in Christ name I ask,
    k

  7. Judy Flores says

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart and the very personal parenting struggle. It is so easy to look like we have it all together on the outside but when we are alone and are feeling that burnout it is an ugly, awful feeling. My husband and I adopted two girls and their needs are not the same as your girls but oh my, I thought I was prepared, I thought I could handle it. Was I ever wrong! I cry out to God daily and thank HIm for the little things He does for me each day. I know we were meant to be together as a family but I guess my thinking it would be like the Cleaver family is not to be:) I will be in prayer for you and your family. Thanks again for sharing something that other moms need to hear, especially of adopted children. It is so easy to let resentment, ugly thoughts, and hopelessness cloud our view and overtake us. Thanks be to God for how He can carry us through!

    • Glynnis says

      Judy – I had to smile at your comment about not being the Cleavers. No one is lining up to make a move about our life either. Far from it. Caring for children who have been wounded by others is a thankless job on most days. However, I know that God’s finest work is done behind the scenes, where no one sees, and where days end in tears. One day at a time, my friend.

  8. says

    Glynnis, Thank you for sharing this with us. I once heard a illustration about masks, and how we all wear our acceptable masks when we are around others, but underneath we are all suffering in some way–some more profoundly than others. But the key to taking off our masks and being “real” is for someone to be bold enough to go first, to face whatever they face as “unmasked,” which will encourage the rest of us to take off our masks, too. To hear you say that you feel burned out and give the reasons for your burnout–I know that vulnerability took courage and boldness. Thank you for giving us all encouragement by letting us know we are not alone in how we feel. Praying for God to fill you to overflowing with His strength and power today. Great is your final reward for all that you are doing to serve our Father God. Thank you, Glynnis!

    Blessings,
    Selena

    • Glynnis says

      Selena, I appreciate your kind words. I really wondered if I should be that real in my post. I had lots of second doubts, but I’m pretty sure those weren’t from God based on the overwhelming response I’ve gotten. Your comment today brought peace and comfort to my questioning heart. Thank you.

  9. a fellow adoptive mom says

    Thank you for such an honest post. Sometimes it feels as though we should have nothing but joy when our adoptive children come home, but there can be many struggles, especially with children who have special needs. What a blessing your words are to me this morning. As we look to complete adoption #2, the truths you have shared from scripture will be buried in my heat and light my path. Thank you so much. I would be honored to pray for you & your precious girls. Blessings!

    • Glynnis says

      Thank you so much for your sweet words. Caring for wounded children is a very hard job. I’m praying the Lord sustains you and gives you joy as you complete this next adoption. I know it’s close to the Lord’s heart.

  10. Terri says

    Wow. I can’t begin to share how this spoke directly to the core of my heart. Thank you for giving me a place for a new perspective. I have a beautiful son with ASD who causes me to be “on alert”.

    All I can say is thank you. I will re-read this often.

    Wow.

  11. says

    I thank God for your courage and boldness.
    It’s in our weakness, burnout, and despair that we can see God as he is…high and lifted up!
    I’m praying for you and your daughters.
    I have a special needs son and mental and physical exhaustion come quickly for me.
    But God’s grace IS sufficient!

    • Glynnis says

      Amen! God’s grace is sufficient, and there is healing in His wings. I wish I would have included a great promise just a few verses after the ones I published. Here is 1 Peter 5:10: “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. ”

      What a great promise!

  12. says

    Glynnis,
    Praying God’s blessings for you and your family today. May He renew your strength like the eagles. I commend you for being willing to bare your heart. I understand the weariness that you feel.
    May God’s healing touch reach these little girls and bring forth healing beyond what is possible in the natural. And may God give you and your husband the grace to be and do what you need to to carry out the call He gave you.

  13. Sharon Erdmann says

    Glynnis,

    Thank you for sharing. I love the way you closed this blog – “Grace & Peace.” It’s exactly right – God’s grace brings us peace and our grace to others brings them peace. I pray for the same thing for your family – grace and peace.

  14. says

    Precious words of encouragement! Testing, suffering, patience, dependence, obedience, victory…these are ours in Christ JESUS. Praise His Awesome Name that He never abandons us, but is always our shield and great reward.
    A dear friend of mine would add: “Onward Christian Soldier!” ((HUGS))

  15. Alena says

    So much I want to say but it’s too lengthy. I will say, Thank you, Thank You and Thank You for your words today. I’m in that place of “burnout and I want to quit”. The feelings have been overwhelming and I have questioned what was happening to me. I know the scripture but yet I still questioned and have been surprised by the onslaught that has overtaken me. I haven’t felt this low or bewildered since my first husbands death 11 yrs ago. 1 Peter JUMPED off the page as I read it. Thank you for sharing your open and honest heart. I’m praying for you and your family…for your girls. <3

    • Glynnis says

      Alena, I’m praying for you tonight and I thank you for your prayers. I’ve discovered that sometimes the amount and frequency of challenges can bring even the strongest Christians to a place of stress and burnout. Especially strong Christians because we serve with everything we have, and don’t always take time to rest. At least that’s a problem for me. I pray the Lord protects you from further attacks, and refreshes you.

  16. says

    Glynnis,
    May God bless you for opening your heart, struggles and vulnerabilities up to us. God has used you not only to minister to those of us (all of us, if WE were to be real) with burn out, but to also help us step forward and take those supermom, superwife, superworking women, superbiblestudygirl masks off.
    We are adopting from a foreign country and I have been trying to prepare myself for the different challenges/special needs our adopted children will have through any means of media available. Your honesty has encouraged me and light a spark of renewal in me to keep pressing on toward this preparation of the unknown.
    I have prayed to our Great Physician for the complete healing of your daughters, for your wisdom, discernment and renewed strength and that God would put people in your path who can help you, your husband and your daughters on this journey.

    • Glynnis says

      Thank you so much for this note. Adopting internationally is hard because of the lack of strong support here. I hope you are have found a group of adoptive parents that can be a source of wisdom and encouragement for you. My one piece of advice is to not listen to experts when they tell you your children will “catch up” or grow out of a problem. All adopted children have had a huge loss (parents and a move away from everything they know, at least), and most of them trauma or abuse. They won’t grow out of this. Keep pushing until you get the help you need, and remember that I am here in case you need advice.

  17. Sara says

    Glynnis,

    Thank you for reminding me that we are to suffer to bring Christ’s wholeness. I am feeling a need to talk to a family member who has hurt me deeply. I realized today that I am protecting myself from more hurt; not trying to step out in faith to try and bring healing to her and the relationship. Thank you for the reminder that God sees the steps I take and has me in the palm of His hand.

    Praying for your sweet daughters and for you. May He be your Prince of Peace today!

  18. Nancy says

    What a powerful post, Glynnis. Thank you for the courage it took to share that with us. As the mother of a severely handicapped child (who is now with our Lord and completely whole,) I know the exhaustion and discouragement that some days can bring. I came to Christ through that child in our life and I know that the Lord will bring eternal fruit out of the ashes of fatigue and discouragement that you are now facing…and that He will also give you the strength and perspective to persevere. May God bless you for the work you are doing with your daughters and for His Kingdom.
    Blessings and prayers.

  19. Cheryl says

    Mmmm . . . that post hit me on two fronts. I was in full time ministry, and when I reached that point of absolute burn-out, I left it. And we have a daughter who has many physical and emotional challenges. And quite frankly, this week I said to my husband, ‘I give up. I just don’t know what else to do.’ I have wondered why God gave me this child sometimes, especially in those moments when it doesn’t seem like our parenting is very effective. I will pray for you and your family. And thank you for the encouragement and the new perspective . . .

  20. Ann Thrasher says

    Thanks so much for sharing this today! I am facing my own challenges in dealing with adult children and grandchildren. This post really spoke to me today! I really needed to hear this today! Thanks again!

  21. Amie says

    God bless you Glynnis for baring your heart and soul. God will honor that, multiply it and use it to help others. Prayers sent your way…..
    All is grace.

  22. Diane says

    Glynnis, thank you for this post and for reminding all of us with any challenges to go ahead and tell God that we just don’t feel like we can do it anymore. I’ve found that when I step back from trying too hard and admit my weakness, God fills those empty places with his strength, always. You are truly inspiring.

    You and your family are in my prayers.

    • Glynnis says

      Yes – He does!!! Praise God. I’m still learning that I don’t have to do everything on my own!

  23. adoptive mama says

    I am so thankful the Lord put it on your heart to share your struggles. I am in that place of suffering with my parenting 2 littles this week. I am ashamed at my behavior towards them at times. I really don’t feel strong enough to to do this but I know the Lord has called us here for such a time as this.
    I am grateful for your words.

    • Glynnis says

      Oh I know that ashamed feeling all too well. I struggle with my thoughts and wonder how someone who loves God as much as I do can feel such bitterness. I’ve needed God’s forgiveness more now than ever. I’m praying for you right now, my friend.

      • Sue says

        Glynnis, I want to thank you for this web-site. I knew I wasn’t the only one out there struggling with these feelings with our adopted kids. Just to have someone to talk to is the greatest. No one can understand what we go through unless they have been there themselves. The love that we have for these kids, no one can understand but us. And there r those days when the anger and bitterness jumps in, And God is sooooo good and gets us through these days with the grace and love, and his forgiveness that he has for us and them. Thank you again. Sue

  24. Jennifer says

    Hebrews 13:5b “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.” I have lifted your precious family in prayer this morning knowing that God will do exceedingly & abundantly more than I could ask or imagine! Love to you all!

    • Glynnis says

      Jennifer – thank you for sharing this scripture verse and for your prayers. My heart feels lighter because of the prayers of my sisters in Christ today!

  25. Sarah says

    Praying for your family and for healing for all. We are wonderfully made and God loves them so much. I pray they will know this truth.

  26. Janet says

    Thank you, thank you for this timely post. Just want you to know that God has used you mightily today to share your heart and your “burnout”. I have been at a point all week that the tears won’t stop. I, too, am dealing with a rebellious adult child that borders on bi-polar tendencies where every day is an emotional rollercoaster. This just sets me straight to keep on “keeping on” for the cause of Christ and trust Him to bring us through each day. I’m praying for you and your family.

    • Glynnis says

      Janet – we are a silent group. It’s hard to talk about the struggles with face with our children without disrespecting them. And we think we “shouldn’t” feel this way about a child (even an adult child). We need each other, especially in these really hard areas. I’m glad you posted a comment today my friend.

      • Lori Ann says

        I am part of the “silent group” who struggles alongside an adult child. My daughter has a mental illness/eating disorder that has placed an overwhelming burden on our entire famiy. It is a daily up and down battle. I would never want to go this road without Jesus. . . my Saviour! I wish we could all sit down and talk, pray, cry and hug over a cup of tea together. I will keep you both (Glynnis and Janet) in my prayers and ask that you will do the same. We must stand together as sisters in Christ.

  27. anonymous says

    God bless you, and God bless all of us moms! Thank you for your post and thank you for answering the call to go get and love and care for these babies. They need you, and this was a divine set-up. God KNEW that you and your husband were the best parents for these girls. Keep the faith. I have a young son with autism. I’m an older mom too, and I never expected this at this point of my life…but I love that little boy with all my heart and I would (and DO!) fight HELL for him, with the grace of God. Lots of other stuff going on, too- I UNDERSTAND the burnout. I’m laughing inside, not because of the situation, but that the enemy had tricked me into believing that I was the only one with these feelings! Thanks for having the courage to SAY it- THAT alone diffuses and takes the power out of the lies of the enemy. That joker has been throwing all KINDS of garbage at me for a LONG to try to make me quit, to make me admit defeat (NEVER!!!) and to convince me that I am not doing the will of God in so many areas of my life. I just stay faithful, praying constantly, and ultimately the Lord wins. LOL parenting is no joke. It is not for wimps and weenies- but God called us to do it, so we always have to call on Him for help.

    • Glynnis says

      Thank you so much for posting a comment today. I only shared a portion of the mental battle I face every day. And you are so right about satan’s lies. He’d love us to believe that we aren’t worthy because of the emotional exhaustion and what that does to us. We need to remind each other of that “joker’s” tricks. (I love how you put that).

  28. Geralyn says

    Glynnis,
    I prayed for you and your daughters in Jesus’ name that you would know there are people who understand your pain and frustration of loving and raising children who are challenged and hurting. That you feel this communion of love and understanding wash over you and that it gives you comfort and strength and a renewed vigor to continue your ministry to your daughters.
    I know that burnt out feeling all too well and have prayed that above prayer for myself!
    Blessings,
    Geralyn

    • Glynnis says

      Thank you. I can already feel God’s peace in a new way through the prayers of my sisters in Christ.

  29. Melody says

    Wow! We have been blessed to be able to grow our family by adopting 3 sisters from foster care. My oldest is a trauma child that had exhausted me with her emotional baggage & then I have to find the strength for my youngest who has a chromosome disorder with special medical needs. I never thought of it as burn out, but that is a great description. I think that as a Mom we don’t want to truly admit how difficult it can be for fear of someone labeling it as failing. I can now rejoice that God has deemed me able to “suffer” this for the sake of my children. THANK YOU!

  30. says

    Thank you! I’m feeling a little burned out myself and it’s so good not to be alone. Comforting one another in suffering is priceless. Thanks for stepping out to do just that.

  31. Rosemarie says

    Thank you Glynnis for sharing your heart. I to recently have been dealing with burnout in my own life and have to say, “THANK YOU” for giving me a fresh perspective. I have a special needs sister who is in her early fifties and lives with me because of her challenges she faces in day to day living. She is challenged regards to being able to comprehend on an adult level. Lately I have been so frustrated for selfish reasons (longing to be able to have a deep loving conversation with her) yet I have to stop and remind myself also that God has placed her in my life for His reasons. I have to see that I am going to suffer at times because of her challenges however, that I have no reason to feel burnout when this is just another one of God’s plans for our lifes. HE has His reasons for placing these wonderful children in our lifes.

  32. Cortnee says

    I thank God for you and your post today. Please know that God used you to speak to my heart regarding the burn-out feeling with parenting. I never thought of the ‘suffering’ I may be going through could relate to something as great as our Savior’s suffering. I pray that God will help my focus to be continually on him.

    I also prayed for your daughters and their healing.

    God Bless.

  33. Maria G says

    Thank you for this post. My problems seems fairly dim in the light of what you and several other faithful women do in pouring out yourselves into childrens life by plucking them out from their pits of hoplessness. I am amazed at your courage and obedience to our Lord. Hats off to you. Prayers being lifted up on your behalf.

  34. Karen R says

    Glynnis,
    Thank you so much for your post today. I, too, am suffering from burnout although it comes from other circumstances. It is only after morning “discussions” with God that I am even able to get out of bed and go about my day. He is so faithful and fills me with the strength I need to get through each day. How can I not praise and adore Him? Thank you for reminding me that I am not the only one in this siuation and thank you for reaffirming God’s love and mercy in this situation. It has gone on so long that I was afraid He had forgotten me but now I remember that it is just not possible.

    I am praying for you and your daughters–your entire family really. I know how this type of thing effects the entire family. May our Great Physician enfold you in his love and peace, His grace and mercy as you travel through this challenge in your life.

    Thank you also for reminding me that we really do have it easy here in America. I have been saying for years really that it is much harder for most Americans to place their faith in the Lord than others in countries where they are persecuted for their faith. Most of us do not face the severe trials and challenges that would drive us to lean into the Lord for our comfort and support. I feel blessed to have gone through a number of hard challenges in my life. Each and every one of them has brought me closer to the Lord as will any I may have in the future. There is a nugget of joy in all of them.

    May the Lord bless you today and every day with His Peace, His Love and His Mercy,
    Karen

  35. Marcia L says

    Glynnis,
    Loved your post this morning…we, as women, need to share our struggles with each other…it was a blessing for me to read about yours…it was also a chance for me to lift you and your family up in prayer…

    14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
    Hebrews 4:14-16

    One thing I have surely learned over the years of raising my own children and going through ‘burn out’ several times…in my weakness God is always faithful and continues to work in my children’s hearts when I feel I can not do one more thing. And now that they are almost 19 years old the true blessing is seeing some of the fruits of my labors.
    Even though your daughters have been through very traumatic things in life already…remember…God knows their hearts and it is by His great love and mercy that He brought them to you and not only is He working in their hearts but He is working in your heart as well…and most likely, alot of people around you.

    Also remember, we are children of God…the King of kings and Lord of lords…I always loved it, and still do, when my children and I would sit down and chat about life and things that are going on, struggles, hurts, prayer request…how much more God loves it when we sit with Him and talk with Him about EVERYTHING…sharing our WHOLE heart with him.

    May God lift you up and strengthen you…his mercy is new every morning…He will never leave you nor forsake you.

  36. Jennifer says

    I am a single mom with a biological son who is 17 and 3 adopted siblings from Haiti who have now been here 2 years. I feel alot of your pain and struggles as well. When the struggles get to feeling overwhelming the thing I tell myself over and over again is that God knows that I can do this or He wouldn’t have asked me to do it – so I must be able to do it. We have an amazing support group through our church (wovenfamilies.org) that really helps families that have adopted or do foster care or families that are in the process of adopting. Alot of helpful resources to deal with the struggles our precious children go through can be found through Nancy Thomas’ website at attachment.org. Prayers go out to you and your family and for all the other families that struggle with loving and helping to heal all of our broken and deeply wounded children. God knows you can do this He trusts you with His precious children – don’t forget that He has a plan through all these trials for you and for your children.

  37. Rose says

    Oh how refreshing today’s blog was…my heart totally connects with all that you said. I’m in burnout mode, have been for almost a year now, completely overwhelmed and exhausted and at the same time completely uninterested in it all, numb to the bone …BUT GOD. Thank you Glynnis again, for sharing your heart and wisdom, it is a blessing a breath of fresh air. Blessings <3

    • Glynnis says

      Rose – I’m so glad you commented today. It’s so hard to be honest about these subjects because most of us want to be able to manage things on our own. At least I do. But the truth is, there are some things in life that are too hard … too broken for us to fix. I’m praying that God restores you as He restores me.

  38. says

    In the midst of suffering, I’m always amazed at how God leads us to places, words and people of comfort and help. I’ve been helping my elderly mother who has been hospitalized twice in the last month. I’ve been feeling so burned out I couldn’t even pray. Or write, which needs to be done. I’ve barely had time to check emails or anything else, but opened up the blog by Sara Anne Loudin Thomas just now, which led me to your blog posting. It was a Godsend. Literally. Blessings to all who are enduring pain and suffering right now and the knowledge that we can do all things in him who strengthens us. And that we are never alone. Thank you.

  39. says

    Glynnis, Your post really touched me today. I’ve been learning to wait on the Lord, and I’m finding that it is hard to wait and resist the discouragement that constantly attacks in that place of waiting. Thank you for your honest, sincere words and the perspective outside of myself. I needed that today!

  40. says

    I have been there, Glynnis, both as an adoptive mama and burnt out from full time ministry. Thankfully, the Living Water exists to fill our cups. My son did have to go away to a residential placement for a while, which was really a restful time for me. He will be 19 this month and is graduating from basic training and getting ready to start college. God will honor your perseverance and love! Praying for you and your daughter!

  41. michelle h says

    wow! thanks for your encouraging works today, Glynnis! Your words brought tears because my husband and I were just discussing how much “junk” we and many of our firends have to go thru. thanks for reminding me of hte truth.

  42. says

    I love you Glynnis! I’m so glad you shared this with your blog readers. I have prayed for you and your family often since our conversations on the cruise. I will continue. I so wish we lived closer. You have a beautiful heart.

  43. Jenny says

    Thank you for this today. As many others have said here, I am in that place as well with our adopted child. I feel ashamed of how I feel about him some days and so needed this perspective and to know the forgiveness that only God can give. <3

    • Glynnis says

      Jenny – I know exactly how you feel. Adoption costs everyone so much … especially if there are other children in the home. I know I underestimated the cost. My only regret is that I didn’t address my daughters’ issues sooner. I believed everyone when they said things would naturally work themselves out. Well, trauma in a child doesn’t naturally work it’s way out. May the Lord sustain you, and direct you to the help your son needs. In His love, Glynnis

  44. says

    You write about this from a Mother’s perspective, which causes me to think….but now consider it from the daughters perspective…when you are emotionally damaged and find the world an unwelcoming place….and your mother can’t understand where you are coming from….how do you find peace and acceptance? I struggle with depression and social anxiety, and was recently diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder…my mother doesn’t care to be educated about my problems, and says that I am just accepting sickness to get attention, and that it’s just another excuse to be lazy. She doesn’t approve of the medications or the therapy, and will take no part in it. I’ve been unable to get on my feet because of my inability to keep a job, which keeps me in my mothers house. We fight constantly because of the lack of understanding and not seeing eye to eye. You have made me consider things from her perspective…..yet at the same time….I don’t understand how as a mom, she wouldn’t want to know what is going on in my head and emotions.

  45. janie says

    My husband and I are fostering-to-adopt a 12-year-old girl. The past few weeks have been so challenging and draining! A friend posted your message from today on my facebook wall after seeing my desperate post asking for prayer. Thank you for you honesty!!! God used it mightily to minister to me.
    Blessings to you and your family as you look into options for your daughter. I will pray for her, and for you. I know what burnout with emotionally needy children is. I know the guilty feelings that accompany this admonition. YOU are in my prayers as you follow the Lord’s call on your life to minister to these precious daughters.

  46. Kelly Schmidt says

    Glynnis, your post touched me so much. I have a biological son, 10 years old, who has behavioral, psychiatric, and health problems that have caused so much pain and heartache over the years. I have cried out to God since he was an infant (awake and screaming half the night) sobbing “What’s wrong with him?”, which was always followed by “What’s wrong with me?”. God has used this child to humble me and draw me closer to Him, I am sure of that. He has great plans for my son, it is really hard to cling to that many days, however. Thank you for sharing for your heart. It gives me strength to know that I am not alone. I am praying for your beautiful family. God bless.

  47. Glynnis says

    Received via email from Marilyn in South Carolina

    I lost my 27 year old son, Jason, to complications of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy in October. My husband ( his stepfather ) and I were his primary caregivers. We watched his body waste away….but his spirit didn’t waste away….it grew to be HUGE.

    I certainly understand frustration and burnout. I suffered watching the disease progress in his body with nothing I could do. God gave me grace one moment….one day at a time. My Lord’s love and understanding is so beyond words.

    We are in the body of Christ to share and lift one another up. Thank you for reminding me of that.

    Love in Christ,
    Marilyn
    South Carolina

  48. Janelle Snyder says

    Thank you so much for sharing this today. I have enjoyed and gotten something valuable from most of your posts, and today’s post helped my devotional time to truly changed my heart about some things going on in my own life. I said prayers for you, your daughter, and the rest of your children an family.

  49. Mary M MN says

    Glynnis and fellow moms with burnout….yes, it is so hard to admit, but so necessary. How can we truly reach out to God to be filled, unless we admit our brokenness and emptiness.

    I think I counted 12 moms who posted who have children who are either adopted or have medical/psych problems which lend to hyper-vigilence on the mom’s part….and outpouring more than inpouring–leading to burnout. I am another one. I have 2 adopted daughters (bio sibs). The older one has mental health challenges—so we all have mental health challenges.

    It has been 8 years since we became a family. I’ve been in counseling for about 4 of those 8 years! Parent coaching/counseling. Me–being totally gut wrenching honest with another person who “gets” early childhood trauma and it’s effect on the brain development. But I also have more importantly, a faith-filled girlfriend circle who totally “get” how a Christian mom can struggle on so many levels—and be called into parenthood in this special way–to minister to broken children that she is SO ill-equipped to handle.

    BUT GOD…
    (Love that recent post by Lysa TerKeurst by the way).
    BUT GOD—He knew what children He was placing in our home
    BUT GOD —He knew how much I would struggle with anger (at the children–for being children with issues and trouble learning cause and effect thinking), resentment (at those who hurt them), and envy (at parents who “have it easy”).

    I am challenged to constantly drop the facade that “everything is OK” and tell the truth. But when I do–I am so blessed. Comfort, understanding, help, prayers, hugs. It pours on me and acts as a healing salve.

    I LOVE MOMS BEING HONEST WITH EACH OTHER! We need to do it more often.
    I will eb going off to sleep tonight praying for all of you in your various trials. AND remembering, that God is allowing us to suffer and to heal and to reach out to others—to give permission to talk about it. Amen!

  50. Aileen says

    Praying for you to be refreshed by God, restoration for your daughters, and more blessings for your family. In Jesus name, amen.

  51. Heleen says

    Thank you Glynnis for sharing your hurt with us. I just know by now and after everybody’s beautiful comments, that the Lord eased your pain and will continue to do so on a daily basis, as He provides you with the strength and courage you and your husband requires to continue with the Lord’s chosen path for you.
    I am also at the burnout stage – look after my 86 year old Mom who is bedridden. The constant state of being alert to her every need and no “me” time, gets to me and there is no switching off for a while. But in spite of what I just said, I do not want anything to change, I love my Mom dearly and am so honored to do what I do for her and being able to provide and care for her. I know I have her prayers everyday and the Lord blesses me continiously in so many ways.
    Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
    1 Corinthians 15:10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.
    1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
    Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
    You are all in my prayers. Clear your mind of negative thoughts and chase the devil away. The Lord is faithfull. Swim in Jesus’ love and drown in God’s grace.

  52. Joyce says

    Glynnis,
    Thank you for sharing your heart! It came at the right time as I came to this point this week too with one of my blessings (adopted also). Feelings of guilt, anger,resentment, etc. Not proud of how I acted or behaved. Falling to my knees in despair and crying out to Jesus. Thankfully a dear sweet friend reminded me that God didn’t make a mistake by making me this child’s mama and that God’s mercies are new every morning. So thankful that the Lord knows our struggles and is right there next to us giving us a hand!

    • Joyce says

      Phone posted before I was done. I have prayed for you and your family this morning and will continue to. Praying your daughter will be healed by Jehovah Rophe and that you will find strength in the Lord. Again thank you for sharing your life, it was exactly the encouragement I needed to know I am not the only one.

  53. Amy says

    Thank you so much for posting this. I am the mother of 4 and two of them are on the autism spectrum. So I have to be on high alert constantly as well. This week I was feeling so worn out and tired and guilty for wanting to be able to just quit for a day or two(not that that is possible of course). You helped me look at this journey in a new light, and reminded me how much God loves us and will guide us on this journey.

  54. Julia - Australia says

    Thank you! My daughter and I have our own sufferings, although I really don’t like to call them that. The last few days I’ve read devotionals, and inspiring emails that I really needed. This is another.

  55. says

    I was touched with ur post today….it takes courage to face our fears and admit them…and then it takes hope to wait out on the future, isn’t what being a christian is about…
    i believe one day your daughters are going to turn around and thank you and your spouse for taking them in when there was nobody and giving them hope and the life you gave them….and off course all glory goes to our father in heaven for his blessings to enable us to do so…

  56. says

    Oh. My. I am but a week into our journey – having just come home with a little boy with special needs. While his true “needs” are physical – it’s the emotional/attitude/bonding that is hitting me like a ton of bricks. A friend forwarded this to me this morning. I am encouraged. Thank you.

    • Glynnis says

      I’m praying you do bond with your little one. That will take you a long way. I’ll be here when you need more encouragement.

    • Mary M MN says

      Jennifer–with God–you can do this. He has called you, and though you may feel so under qualified at times…He will give you friends to come around you. Reach out. Be honest when you are over your head in the day’s events and need some prayer support or help in the home or a break in your day. It is a wild ride–but He has taught me so very much about Him, about me, and of course about parenthood along the way. : ) We are here!

  57. Christy says

    Glynnis, thank you for sharing with transparence and honesty. Five and a half years ago, our family also adopted two little girls, sisters, from Liberia. It has not been an easy road, and it has stretched me and revealed things about myself that may have never been exposed otherwise (good, bad, and ugly!). I want to encourage you, even as your post encouraged me, to parent out of faith and not fear. I understand what you wrote about the horrors your daughters experienced in Liberia that still affect the way they think and behave, but their stories (and ours) are still being written. My husband reminds me often that it is a marathon, not a sprint. Praying for God’s peace to reign in your spirit, His power to be evident in your relationships, and His presence to be felt in your home.

  58. Terri says

    I understand your feelings clearly. I have experienced the pain and confusion and exhaustion in caring for aging parents . Dementia and relationship problems became so huge I felt I wouldn’t survive! BUT GOD!!!! Thank you for your continued open heart . I will lift you and your family to the LORD . <3

  59. says

    I just prayed for your daughters, Glynnis….for wholeness and healing. And I prayed for you – to have joy in the midst of all this. May He bless you in your obedience.

    I’m inspired by this post. You’re living it out – you’re exposing yourself and opening yourself up to the things Jesus calls us all to. Oh, may you be encouraged and strengthened as you journey through this life serving and loving those who need it so much. You’re a gift to them.

    Lord, continue to speak to Glynnis in your Word!

    Sweet Blessings,
    Kate :)

  60. Mindy says

    Thank you for your honesty and openess! As a mother with two healthy children I have experienced burn out and feel so guilty knowing that I dont face struggles as so many others do and have. Realizing where I am weak allows me to praise God all the more because where I lack he strengthens.

  61. Bev says

    Many years ago my husband and I were foster parents to 10 consecutive children over a period of several years and adopted the 10th one when she was a preschooler. In addition, we have 8 biological children. Our oldest daughter, the one we adopted, is now in her 30′s and a mom of 3 herself. How I wish we would have found some outside help/counseling for all of us when she was a young child; it may have saved some of the buckets of tears shed (hers and ours). When we did try to get some help and counseling (she was about 15), she refused to cooperate and we didn’t know what else to do but pray and do the best we could. We believed then – and still believe – that God brought her into our family, and having trials along the way does not negate the calling He gave us to be her parents.
    As an adult with bipolar tendencies and what we now believe are some characteristics from effects of fetal alcohol syndrome in her life, she is a severely neglectful mother to her own children (all have different fathers who are not very involved in their lives). So now we are grandparents who struggle with asking God what our role is supposed to be? A couple of years ago, after much wrestling with God (“Jacob-style”!), I believe that we were given 2 assignments to fulfill: (1) PRAY regularly for these grandchildren (as it is unlikely that anyone else will be doing that), and (2) just BE PRESENT in their lives whenever possible as a MODEL of Christ’s love and a different way to live (because of their mom’s inconsistent emotional state, sometimes we are not allowed to have much contact). These two things we can do and have made a commitment to keep doing for as long as the Lord gives us. He alone can change hearts and He loves our daughter and grandchildren far more than we do, so we remind ourselves regularly of this truth: “I can’t, God can, I will trust God.”
    Thank you, Glynnis, for opening your heart and transparently sharing from your life to offer blessing and encouragement to so many others who are seeking to follow their callings from our Lord as well.

  62. says

    Dear Glynnis,
    told a friend about this post. She and her husband adopted 3 precious kids from Romania about 10 years ago. She completely understood your burnout and guilt and anger. 1 child has anger issues. 1 does not have social filters, so is very naive and trusts anyone. 1 keeps asking when they are going to send him back! But they are the sweetest kids! they all love Jesus. My friend and hubby have, by the grace of God, stayed with it and very often see the wonderful young adults He gave them to raise. The whole family is such a blessing to our church family.
    Thanks for sharing this. I think ALL parents have thoughts like these occasionally. God bless your faith and obedience and keep you in His grace, no matter your emotions.

  63. says

    Glynnis, you’ve heard from many adoptive moms today, and I’m another. I would just concur that the road you’re traveling is a hard one, harder than any of us would have imagined when we set out. Eyes on Jesus, the prize, the One who authored your faith and is perfecting it through trial – that’s the way, the only way, to make it across that finish line. I love your honesty. I love what you and your husband have chosen. And I love our Jesus who upholds you all the way through. Praying for you!

  64. Dana says

    Thank you for sharing these honest, heart-felt, real life thoughts today, Glynnis! It is such a relief for the rest of us in ministry and all of us moms to hear those we respect and admire and “follow” (through books, blogs, Bible studies, etc.) be open and transparent about their personal struggles with their ministries and families. It is also such a great reminder to all of us how much we need our sisters in Christ to hold us up in prayer and not hold us in judgment- we never truly the know path another is walking and all that she is dealing with at the moment. I pray for God’s continued perspective, strength, peace, energy and unfailing love to be yours. God bless you and your precious daughters and your whole family.

  65. says

    We are all in this together Glynnis. Laboring as best we can. Thank you for sharing so beautifully. It reminds us we are not alone as sisters in Christ and as fellow sufferers with Christ. So yes, I will pray. God is good and faithful, He is our strength. Praying this would be His message to you today. In your weakness His strength is perfected. Blessings.

  66. Fawn says

    Dear Lord, thank you for this sister in faith. Glynnis is such an encouragement to so many of us- even new readers like me. Thank you for her openness, and willingness to share her life, her struggles, and her relationship with you. Hear all of our prayers for Glynnis and her family- work in their lives in miraculous ways. You are the God that changes hearts, that brings people back to life, that heals completely. If I could lay my hands on those precious girls, I would pray for you to completely restore them. Lead this family to the right resources to create the most change. And give Glynnis rest. Amen.

  67. Alison says

    Thank you Glynnis. Your post really spoke to me today. We foster a 21 year old with special needs and i struggle daily with the desire to love her as God loves her and with encouraging her to be all that she can be. I don’t always do well with my encouragement. And it is difficult to talk with others as they only see the “good” that we appear to be doing and not the daily struggles to keep it together. Your post hit right on as I certainly do struggle with burnout but don’t think i had really labelled it. Thank you for being honest and for allowing so many others to share as well. I will be praying for you aNd the families who are so giving of themselves. Christ be with you!

  68. Suzanne Bradshaw says

    A friend and i were talking about our troubles with kids during a Superbowl get together. (she emailed me this link. She said she read it and immediately thought of me). My daughter has a learning disability in math and reading. She’s not too bad. But my son, on the other hand, has been a handfull for as long as I can remember. He’s 11, almost 12. He has Aspergers, an anxiety disorder, PTSD, and a psychotic disorder. His disabilities will also prevent him from ever being normal. He will never live alone without supports. I feel like I have been drug through the mud sometimes. I fight so hard for him all the time and rarely see that it’s made a difference. I’ve gotten so use to it, I don’t know any other life. But sometimes I will watch other families. You know, the ones with ‘normal’ kids. Kids who will marry and have kids and live alone and have good jobs. Those families. And sometimes I will wonder what it would be like to have that life. Not really envy them. But just kinda wonder what it would be like to have ‘normal’ kids. To not have to fight so hard. Or have to wonder who’s gonna care for my son when I’m gone. Not constantly go to meeting after meeting with school officials. Not to constantly wonder if the next time the phone rings, if it will be from the school. Sometimes I get burned out. Sometimes I want to throw up my hands and give up. Sometimes I break down and cry and wonder why God chose me to deal with this. But that’s it. God did choose ME. Me of all people. Who knows why? But He did.

    • says

      Hi Suzanne, One of the reasons I know God chose me and my husband to parent our wounded daughter is because we will fight for her. God sees that same warrior spirit in you. But even warriors need to rest. I’m praying for God to lead you to the right type of support for you. Depending on which state you are in, you might be able to get help from a government agency. In my state we have the Department of Developmental Disabilities. My daughter doesn’t qualify, but your son might. There is respite care available and other services. Once you’ve got the diagnosis, perhaps there is more for you than you know.

      I’m praying for you right now, my friend.

  69. Lisa says

    Prayers for your precious family. Being mom is a tough job, and requires us to lean on Him daily. I have 3 sweet boys 15, 10 and 1….and can relate to burnout, exhaustion, guilt, and much much joy. My oldest son, 15, has been far more of a challenge than my younger 2 boys. They have all brought such joy. I cannot believe in the blink of an eye, he has grown 6 feet tall, and 190 lbs of handsome, onery, sensitive, sweet, absolute rebellion…..I could worry myself silly (as if I haven’t already!) Try to remind myself my kids belong to God, and He loves them far more than I could ever imagine. I am blessed to be entrusted with them. I am thankful to lean on my Lord, and am on my knees often for His peace and direction raising my precious boys into Godly men. Thank you for your gentle reminder today that suffering is part of what we are called to with the priveledge of parenting. It definately shakes our own selfishness, and refines us more like Him. Peace and Blessings to you! Lisa

  70. Michelle Crawford says

    Thank you so much for sharing! Your posts have been so encouraging to me. I started following you in January with the 10 days of decluttering. My daughter and son-in-law just adopted two girls in December from Uganda. I am helping with childcare since she has gone back to work. It’s been an interesting, amazing, and often a very challenging time.
    Thank you for reminding me of who God is in the midst of the day to dayness of their care.

  71. Jenny Gray says

    Praise God for His timing and bringing this blog to me tonight.

    I am suffering from ” burnout”. I couldn’t put a word on what I have been going through for the past couple of weeks. My husband is so worried about me. He has been amazing through this. I have felt so guilty about my feelings because of my many blessings. I have 2 healthy children and a loving husband, but I can’t shake this “Calgon, take me away” feeling.

    I teach sixth grade. Spending the day with 57 pubescent 6th graders and coming home to my 2 children has worn on me recently. I have found myself jealous of my husband’s time teaching a Financial Peace class at our church. I am jealous of the 2 “guy weekends” he has enjoyed recently. Unfortunately, my “girls weekend” ran into conflicts this year. I have a couple of trips that I normally take this time of year, but they won’t this year.

    I plan to really spend some time with God and the passage in 1 Peter you shared. Thank you for helping me realize that I am not going crazy.

  72. Judi says

    Wow, that is so me and I didn’t even realize it as burnout. I have a very difficult teen. He has always been a handful, but it has worn me down since hitting the teen years. I’m exhausted most of the time. Too tired to do anything. Condemnation on my self for not being a better parent, not praying enuf, not reading the Word enuf. Too many “what ifs”. Thank you, this has really struck a chord with me.

  73. Anonymous says

    I can relate to this not only as a parent of 5 children , but as a caretaker of my husband who is in healing from PTSD. Thank you for sharing.

  74. Lj says

    I also have 2 adopted special needs children and could rewrite the many feelings that have been posted here. I haven’t from what I’ve read heard of the loneliness isolation and the loss of a marriage because I have given everything I have to loving my children and trying to give them what they need along with honoring what the Lord has asked me to do. I’m 55 have some health issues that have made it difficult to care for my kids as they need. I haven’t had a friend in the past 15 yrs. I am so burnt out doing this on my own. Yes I know the Lord is there but I’m so tired it hard to remember that. My kids don’t deserve a broken home on top of their challenges. I love them so much and am so ashamed of how i behave, the feelings I struggle with and the hurtful words that I can speak. Thank you all for sharing and Glynn for having to share honestly.

    • says

      LJ – thank you so much for posting this comment. My heart is so sad at what has happened, and I am overflowing with compassion. There is a great cost to care for wounded and needy children and you are paying it.

      What many of us underestimate is that Satan is actively involved in our situations, trying to tear apart and destroy. And he is no respecter of age, health or sacred relationships. Children are often his first target. And marriages his second. He is a deceiver … have no doubts about that.

      I’m praying for wholeness in your life … in all areas. God can restore and redeem what has been broken.

      In His love, Glynnis

      • Lj says

        Thank you so much for responding to my post and filling the desperate need to know that someone on this earth knows I am (along with my children and husband) going through this. Boy that sounds so pity party. Thank you also for sharing that the Lord will restore and redeem. I know my loving father has been telling me to perservere and he is a God that will restore and redeem. It is already done! Thank you again for compassion and prayers.

  75. Gloria says

    We too are in this with you. Even though we got our son right here in Charlotte at 3 months old- there were trauma effects as well as fetal alcohol. When people ask if i work my answer is “yes”. I have a notebook inches thick with all the therapists we have been to. He is in Day Treatment right now at 9 years of age. But I always remember praying before we adopted “God, give me the child I need”. Who knew I needed this! But He has changed me and I cling to Him desperately for the Grace that I need to be the mom that my son needs.

  76. Kathryn says

    Wow! I didn’t realize that I was not alone. I know that my children are a blessing but sometimes I wonder why God decided that I should be their momma. All 4 of my children seemed “normal”, whatever that is, when they came to live with us. As time has continued, both learning disabilities and mental illnesses have become our normal. It is such a struggle some days. Thanks for the perspective and the encouragement. Your story has been a blessing for me today. I am glad that God chose me and that He provides me with the strength to make it through each day.

  77. Proverbs31Wife says

    Dear Glynnis, We are in the same boat. Some days the seas are calmer than others but mostly we live on high alert due to our adopted daughter’s internal pain/fear/trauma. She has only been home 2 years (with professional help, with no progress). We have 6 other birth children. I have thought about what you said at times and I appreciate hearing it again. I share the truth of our situation all the time. I know that in itself provides a lot of persecution as people really judge you harshly and assume we are doing something wrong in parenting our adopted daughter. I would like to stay connected with you as a mother in the same boat on FB. :) Thanks for being honest!!!

  78. says

    My son has autism… he has made tons of progress and is just starting to talk at 10 years old.
    I know now that all our suffering has not been in vain and that my son is going to lead others to Christ.
    We are in the End Times and we are seeing a up surge of illness and disease. Everyone has something. We just have to hold on tight to God and know that this for a short time only.
    Someday we will be with the Lord,,,, pain free and we wont even remember these hard times.
    God bless!

  79. says

    Just found your article on Time-Warp Wife’s Pinterest board! From her note on it, I knew I just had to read it. It was wonderful! I never really thought of it as burnout, but it sure is. I have been so exhausted and “worn to the bone.” A week and a half ago I was listening to a message in our church. It occurred to me that through the mockery of the trial that Jesus endured, I have a Savior that understands the false acqusations, the misplaced anger, the unfair treatment that we adoptive moms receive. Your verses point out another application, too. We are just over 3 years into our adoption. A bit sobbering that you are 6 years in. : ) Thanks for putting this up for others to read and get encouragement from.

  80. Barb says

    I thank you for your transparency. It was a message I needed to hear myself today. I committed to giving up everything to follow Jesus several years ago, even agreeing that I would suffer for Him. I have found following Him is easier than suffering for Him. When we tell God we are willing to suffer for Jesus, we don’t get to choose how we will suffer. After all, what would we be willing to endure if God let us choose? God alone knows what we can tolerate and what we will be able to endure and still bring glory to His name. I will be undergoing some medical tests within the next weeks and am experiencing both fear and denial. Your message came at a time when the Lord has been asking me if I am truly willing to suffer for Him and trust Him to see me through this.Thank you so much for your honesty.

    • Glynnis says

      Barb – I’m praying for you tonight. May the Lord bring you peace in the midst of the unknown. And I’m praising God that He gave you such a personal and tender message.

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