What a great week this has been so far. My first three special guests have shared fabulous information, and today’s guest is no exception. I can’t wait to introduce her, but before I do so, I want to give a quick thank you to Mandy from Biblical Homemaking for her post yesterday and for offering a Target gift card. I’m happy to announce that Patricia, posting at 12:42 p.m. on Tuesday 4/11, was randomly selected as the winner. Thanks to everyone for sharing your comments.
Now, it’s my pleasure to introduce you to another young woman whose obedience to God is impacting the lives of thousands. I’ve recently “met” Courtney as a co-contributor at Roo Mag (started by Candace Cameron Burre). To say I’ve been impressed is an understatement. She’s a dynamo. Keep reading and you’ll see what I mean. First here’s her bio, then her article.
Courtney blogs over at WomenLivingWell.org . She has been married to her high school sweet heart for 14 years, homeschools her son and daughter and is a graduate of the Moody Bible Institute. Her passion to see “women living well” landed her on the Rachael Ray Show in November, 2009. Since then, she blogs regularly about faith, marriage, parenting, homemaking and more. You can also find her blogging over at GoodMorningGirls.org.
How Do I Clean In the Midst of These Kids?
This is an excellent question and I have found this to be one of the greatest challenges as a mom with little ones. It’s obvious that when we compare which is more important – cleaning vs. your children – that the children are more important. BUT I don’t look at these two as mutually exclusive. Our goal as moms should not be to entertain our children and to corral them from one fun activity to the next. They need to fellowship in the daily activities of their parents. Our children need to be praised for more than just sitting quietly while they watch Elmo. They should find purpose, comfort, and joy at the side of their mother.
While we all can nod our heads in agreement that this is what we want for our children, living this out is terribly difficult. It takes a lot of patience, endurance and organization to create a system where this works. And truly, most days it takes a lot of prayer and deep breaths! Lol!
My children started helping me with laundry when they were 1 and 3. They used to help me carry all the baskets to the main room for sorting. We poured all the laundry into one HUGE pile. Then I cranked up music and allowed them to take turns jumping into the pile. They LOVED this! After about 5 minutes of fun (or chaos) we stopped and began to sort. After sorting we pushed the bins down the hallway, down the stairs and to the washing machine. Then they each got a high five and a nickel for their hard work!
Truthfully, it would have been much easier to do this myself BUT this was a time of bonding – and giving them a sense of contribution and purpose. This takes their focus off of themselves and onto serving the family.
Another example: cooking. We all know that kids LOVE to get creative in the kitchen but it is SO difficult to have their little hands into everything! So – take a deep breath and pray for patience!!! Remember – you are bonding while teaching them a life skill. When the children were younger, I collected as many Lego’s as I could from every friend and garage sale I could find. We had four large baskets of Lego’s that they were ONLY allowed to use in the kitchen when I was cooking. I would get them started building and they were extremely creative once they got going. Then as I cooked, when
there was something they could help with – I invited them one at a time to stand on a chair and help. There was order in the kitchen and we fellowshiped together as I made dinner.
Six years later I am reaping the benefits of starting this while the children were young. Both of my children (ages 7 and 9) are capable of cleaning out bathtubs and sinks 100% themselves. My son (age 9) can vacuum rooms and the stairs perfectly himself! My daughter (age 7) is GREAT in the kitchen! She has learned to stir slowly (moving slowly in the kitchen is key to less spills and injuries) and the best part … as I fellowship and bond with my children they find praise for doing something other than playing video games without fighting!
If you have a big task – like cleaning out a closet or filing papers – and a tot that is going to be WAY too difficult to have in the room (don’t even try it) -break this task up into 20 minute intervals. And work on it each night after the kids are down for bed.
I will admit it is hard work to bring your children along side of you as youwork – it takes time, sacrifice, organization and creativity. But I never have guilt after spending this time with the children – but I will admit to complete exhaustion! We reap what we sow (Galatians 6:9).
Enjoy your children – watch their eyes light up as you praise them for their great dusting. Admire their strong muscles when they lift the laundry basket! There is no substitute for mommy’s praise and delight – the television may be an easy short term solution – but remember – we reap what we sow.
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I sure wish I’d had this advice when my children were younger. When my first three were small, I kept trying to regain control of my “old” life rather than embrace my new one as a mentor and teacher of my children. Courtney, you are so wise! I’m so thankful God is raising this young woman up.
In today’s post, Courtney has something for everyone! She’s offering everyone a FREE eBook titled “The Proverbs 31 Woman ~ One Virtue At A Time”. Click here for all the details!
As you probably know, this Proverbs 31 woman is near and dear to my heart, so I hope you’ll all get a copy of this for yourself.
If you’d like to leave a message for Courtney, please click here to be taken to my blog, or visit Courtney’s blog today.
Stop back tomorrow for a practical idea from me to end the week, and another giveaway.
Grace & Peace,
Glynnis
Honestly, I can see this plan working with a few kids, but how on earth do you make it work with seven kids who are all fighting over who gets to help mom cook or who groan over having to do chores?
I wasn’t able to share all of my tips in just one post but something else I have used is the chore pack system – which the Duggars who have 19 kids use. Here is a link to my kids using the packs:
http://womenlivingwell.org/2009/07/chore-packets-teaching-our-children-to/
And a youtube I made on how I use the packs:
http://womenlivingwell.org/2010/07/vlog-my-chore-pack-system/
Hope these help!
Courtney
This is something I need to implement in my home. My children are 3 and 6. They do help with the laundry but I do find myself sending them off to play as I cook or try to clean. I love the lego idea, I think I am going to try it who knows maybe they will quit fighting over who is going to help while I am cooking. Thank you ladies for you lovely input and advice.
This is such great advice! I’m a mother of two young ones (3 and 8 months), and I also work full-time, so I am constantly struggling with staying afloat. Often, I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of toys and unfinished chores. I am so guilty of “trying to regain control of my ‘old’ life rather than embrace my new one as a mentor and teacher of my children.” I am a control freak by nature, and it has been hard for me as a mother to let go a little and realize that the house is not going to be clean all the time (or ever!) and I may not cook a meal from scratch every night of the week, but it’s okay! I love this idea of incorporating kids into the mundane chores that have to get done and turning them into teachable, bonding moments. I will be trying this tonight with my 3-year-old!
This is a really interesting approach to things. I really feel so overwhelmed by the disorganization of my home, that I have never even dreamed of letting my newly 3 year old boy help–it seems all to be too much!! But, he does want to help–he asks to help. So, I guess I need to let go of the fear and shame that the chaos has caused me to feel, and invite my sweet boy to help with the dishes, the cooking and picking up.
Maybe he will help get me in gear!
Blessings!
Carissa in eastern Iowa
I have a 1 year old who helps with laundry by pushing the wet clothes into the dryer during the switch and throws dirty clothes into the hamper before I take it to the laundry room. I love the idea of letting the kids jump into the clothes though! Also, for cleaning bathrooms, I use natural cleaners and give him an empty squirt bottle and a rag to play with nearby so he can still feel like he’s helping.
I used a spray bottle with water and paper towels too when the kids were little. Now they use Clorox Wipes
Courtney
I wish I had done this when my son was younger; I’ll have to try it with my daughter instead of trying to get the windex out their hands I would be giving something to them to do. It’s also encouraging to see the other commenters that they have the same struggles I do instead of everything always seeming so perfect for everyone else lol.
I can honestly say that I have also enjoyed the “rewards” of involving my kids in housework since they were very young (my youngest son used to use his Tonka dump truck to go around the house gathering up stray socks for the laundry). I’m one of those moms who works outside the home, and having kids help out is essential! It gives us time together and helps me be less stressed at trying to do it all myself. They are now 15, 18 & 21 and have many useful life skills as a result. Tonight, the 18 year old has a track meet, my husband is out of town for work, and I have a class, so the 15 year old will be cooking dinner. When the 21 year old went away to college, she also found out she was much in demand because she could cook! LOL!
Cathy – great idea thanks! We have a Tonka dump truck and my 2 year old loves to help me with the laundry. Never thought to use the dump truck to collect them though.
I love courtney. I read her blog everyday and Im doing the 5 week challenge with her.
This was an encouragement today. Now that my oldest is a teen it is hard to get her away from the phone and her room. i know the effort i put in now with her to teach her daily life chores will be a great value to her. To me, it was much easier when they were younger.
I would love to see the steps leading up to being able to 100% clean bathrooms and vaccuuming! Great ideas to start sowing!
I put some links above with the system I used when the kids are little – they are in comment moderation – but will show soon.
My children did small chores (making beds, wiping sinks, putting clothes down laundry chute) 5 days a week when they were little using the Duggars Chore packet system.
As they grew older, I did not bring the kids alongside EVERY day – some days you just have to get stuff done. But I did take the time, many days, to stop and say let me show you how to use the broom. Let me show you how to vaccuum the stairs – let’s do it together. Go in a straight line like when you are coloring in a picture… Let me show you how to wrap up the cord…now you try. Over and over I did this until they could do it on their own. I try to not leave them alone when they are working – they need me nearby – so I do something close by while they do their work.
Alexis is not always in the kitchen with me. I have chosen certain days and meals that work best for her to help and we do those together. For example, she will be helping me with lunch tomorrow because Grandpa is coming – she will help me make hamburgers, home fries and salad. She will help me set the table and serve it. I enjoy cooking together when it’s planned more than sporadically simply because most days I’m trying to get things done quickly…but her experience just a few times a week is more than enough – she can scramble eggs perfectly, peel potatoes without any assistance from me, pour drinks etc.
It really is about taking the time to slow down and show them, teach them, train them – then pour on the praise!! “Look at those strong muscles using the vaccuum! Daddy look at the amazing meal your daughter has made!” They eat up the praise!! In time you will reap what you sow!
Hope this helps!
Courtney
This too was an awesome explanation! I feel like this makes it easier to do than trying to do it all the time.
i was going to say that cleaning the house while the children are growing is like sweeping the walk while it’s still snowing, but i love your post. When you start young, it probably is easier. And i know you didn’t wait till you had your all your children before you implemented this. So glad to see that not homes don’t need to be chaotic.
mitzi underscore wanham at yahoo dot com
These are great ideas! Thank you so much!
I am planning to implement these in our home.
My daughter has never done many household tasks. That’s my fault for not getting started early enough, I suppose. However, since I’ve broken my leg and can’t do much for a couple of months, she’s really helped my husband out — with cooking, grocery shopping, etc. Now, I want to figure out how to continue that after I get back on both legs. Any ideas?
Pour on the praise!!! It’s the best motivator for any child!!!
Write her a thank you card for her help, mention in front of others how amazing she has been when you needed help, tell her over and over what a blessing she has been to you.
Most likely she will respond by wanting to do more to help simply because it is so appreciated. We are the same way as wives. When our husbands verbally say they appreciate something we do – it gives us the strength to keep going – give your daughter strength and courage by en”courage”ing her!!!
Courtney
I just finished starting a load of laundry…with my 4-yr-old and 2-yr-old. They absolutely LOVED getting to jump and roll and play in the pile of clothes! Then they both happily sorted and worked together to push the basket down the hall to the laundry room. But it didn’t end there! As I was starting to fill the washer, my 4-yr-old asked to help. They both stood on a stool and dropped clothes into the washer. Thank you so much for this great idea, Courtney!!! I’m already trying to think of how to involve them in more household tasks, and I can’t wait until my husband comes home from work so I can tell him a/b my 2 great helpers! (I already told them.)
Woooohoo! Heather – do you know how excited I am to see how quickly you implemented this? Amazing! Wasn’t it fun to work together and find joy while accomplishing something productive!!! Keep on going! Remember to stay creative when they are young – fast music and a mommy with a cheerful attitude works wonders. Now when they watch their video of Elmo – it’s guilt free – you all earned a quiet moment because you have accomplished your work together!
Truly this fellowship we have with our children is like our fellowship with our heavenly father – it brings joy and strength that will carry us through our lives.
Courtney
So many ways I have not taken full advantage of the time I had with my kids. But, mercy and grace are ever ready – thank God! I cannot spend my time regretting what I lost, because then I will lose what I have now!
I do want to say, I have copy of the Proverbs 31 Woman One Virtue at a Time and I gotta tell you, it is the best book I have ever read on the subject. I hope every one who has the opportunity to get it does so. It SO worth the time to read it. It is written with great truth AND compassion! It has really impacted my life.
I love the ideas and will check out the links for more tips! My two year helps with laundry and dishes while my six year old is at school. And although “help” is not exactly what I would call it – it sure beats he tv which I admit is on way too much! I’m always needing and looking for ideas that I can handle and that work for my family and with another baby on the way I NEED all the help I can get! Thanks for the inspiration!
Now I know why I have a variety of blogs I treat myself too. I had 4 children in 5 years.
My kids are all (almost – in less than a month) over 16. “The chore chart” was such a “Chore” for me. Then there was the “Don’t throw a fit” Chart for a couple of them too. I learned that my house wasn’t going to look perfect when they were cleaning, but now they all know how to clean a house and “green” options.
I need to remind myself of these triumphants when I get bogged down with the day to day drama of teens. My oldest is moving out of her dorm and into an apartment this week. “Mom I need to pour baking powder of that carpet and freshen up. Did I tell you I bought a vacuum?” Music to this mother’s ears.
Blessings on you ladies, just starting the journey. You are in my prayers today.
I too have passed this season of life where I have small children at home. I love these ideas and wish I’d heard them when my kids were little.
When my kids were school age they were responsible for laundry and dishes during the summer and it helped them to learn how to do laundry and keep a clean kitchen.
Thank you Glynnis for these great guest and for motivating me to continue to organize my house.
Blessings
What wonderful words of encouragement you have here, Courtney. Having the kids ‘tag along and help’ may be tiring, but it is soooo worth it long-term. And the memories of these times *always* forget the bad bits, and only remember the lovely parts.
Young mums…. Just Do It!
Excellent ideas!
So many wonderful truths and tips in this post!! I recently watched my own son’s eyes light up when he was allowed to mow the lawn for the first time all by himself. The look of pride just made his face glow! Both of my kids love helping around our home and yes, it does take more patience on our part as moms, but it is definitely so worth it in the end!! Thanks so much for this today!
Vanessa
I wish I had this kind of advice when I was a young mom. Now, I am a grandmother trying to make up for what I lacked back then. I babysit for my son during the week and am trying so hard to give to my grandchildren what I didn’t give to my own children. I have a lot of guilt and want to make things right for this generation. Thank you for sharing, you are a blessing to me!
I LOVE to cook and clean with my boys! Actually since both are in school this year – I miss them and their help. The boys have been involved in just about everything in the kitchen. They help plant the plants in the garden, they have a small flowerbed that is theirs to take care of and they have their own tools. It is important to have tools that fit them. They have helped with watering, weed pulling and harvesting. They help with cleaning the corn, snapping the beans and the entire process of making spaghetti sauce. When it came time for my oldest to have a Father -son bake off for Cub Scouts, my son knew where the food processor was and how to put it together and was telling his Dad how to do it!!!! Love the post and as a Mom it is way more rewarding to have your kids help you even if it takes longer, so they might know how to care for themselves in the future.
Definitely needed to hear this…thank you so much!!!!
I tried this out with my son today. It was FABULOUS! My 3 year old helped me put away towels, wash and dry his own clothes, load, unload and re-load the dishwasher, clean the kitchen sink and the bathtub. He felt SO PROUD of himself, and actually did a great job!
We had a wonderful day together. He took a nice bath in a clean tub, and I have a shiny kitchen sink. He also tinkled in the potty 4 times–a personal best for my son!! Thank you, ladies for sharing this with me! Day 1 has been a true blessing!
Blessings!
Carissa in eastern Iowa
I have 7 year old twins and a 4 year old. They all love to help clean and cook. We did start very young and have always had a teamwork mentality in our home. They even love taking turns shredding old papers that daddy gives them. I truly believe that it’s the relationship building and fun we have doing it that keeps us all going and doing it cheerfully. I will say, though, that I recently wanted to do deep cleaning and invited 3 of their friends over for a play date so I could get things done. They had a great day with their friends (I barely saw them except to feed them) and I got a lot done. The other mothers thought I was crazy for inviting more kids while I wanted to clean but it truly worked great!
This post is so true. I have a little one who is a year and half. We have been trying to teach her to cleanup her toys before bed-time and naptime each day. It started off well, but lately she seems to just wonder off when I try to encourage her to grab a block and put it away in the basket. I have seen her neatly put other things away a few times recently, so that has given me renewed hope that she’ll learn. This post also encourages me to keep trying – she will eventually catch on and it will pay off
Thanks for posting this.
Thank you so much for your speed-cleaning tips! Some of the things I read sound good, but not right for me; but this one, I think I can do. I want to see if my husband has one of those carpenter’s tool holders in the garage, and if not, I want to buy one. Your blog is an encouragement to me. Blessings to you!
Thanks for all the helpful speedy tips! Never enoughtime in a day! My motto used to be “Do It Now” meaning pick up and put away as I saw things carrying multiple items to other areas of the house to be put away. I have kind of gotten away from that but the apron tip reminded me of it!!
Following your blog for a few months now and I’m finding that I have a lot to learn. Speed cleaning? I’m still in the dejunking state. Sigh.
Very insightful article! I have always felt that I just couldn’t clean with my kids around because of the distraction, if nothing else. I would just get into a project, only to be called to pour a drink, wipe a bottom, or break up a fight. I love this perspective, and am beginning to implement. I am away from home while my kids are in school, so I have no choice but to either clean while they are home or live in a pigsty.
My 4-year-old loved taking the silverware out of the dishwasher and putting it in its organized caddy today. She says she wants that to be her job every day, and asked my to write it down and hang it on the fridge. She’s hired.