When my third child was born, my first was still three. And they were all active boys. My life was colored in shades of blue. Even my living room was blue. Bright robin’s egg blue. Painted by my husband when I was on a women’s retreat. Apparently we should have had a discussion about appropriate shades of color for living rooms.
For the next few years, my life was immersed in masculinity. I didn’t think much of it until one shopping trip to Target (the only place I could get popcorn and Icee’s to bribe my children sufficiently.) There were the cutest tennis shoes I’d ever seen. And they had them in women’s and girls’ sizes. And for a moment I thought, “I wish I could buy those.” And I walked away.
Then I thought: Wait a dog-done minute … I’m a girl. Why can’t I buy them for myself?! And I went back and bought the tennis shoes.
It’s so easy to lose bits and pieces of who we are in the process of mothering children. It happens because it’s a joy to sacrifice our wants and desires for them. Which is why I watched knew all the Barney songs and read Tom’s Rainbow Walk over and over again. It’s why we went camping for years rather than staying in hotels. And lunch with the girls was at McDonalds with play lands.
For the most part, this is a good thing. Motherhood teaches us self-sacrifice and humility. I mean really, can you change the diaper of a three-year-old boy who talks like a little adult (and who just doesn’t seem to mind a dirty diaper) and NOT be humbled???
With children, I learned to set aside my self-driven priorities in exchange for the new priorities God gave me. But the danger for me and many other mothers is we forget that God has plans for us that don’t include our children.
I need to understand in my head and heart that God has plans that are just as good, if not better, than the current stage of parenting I am in. However, if I hold on too tightly and try to make things stay the same, I can miss what God has in store for me next.
One of my biggest regrets in the past is when faced with change, I have not always looked forward with anticipation. I have not trusted God to bring something good out of what only seems like loss to me.
For example, when we moved across country for two years, I was devastated. It was only for two years but you would have thought I was being shipped to Mars! And it was to the South … where they make really good BBQ pork sandwiches and sweet tea! But sadly, I didn’t think God was going to bring anything good out of those two years. Thankfully He surprised me – in spite of my bratty attitude.
I learned an important lesson through that hard experience. God keeps His promises! If He said He can bring good out of something that looks sad – He will do it!!!
Sometimes all I think about with my children is how much I’m going to miss this or that. But what I need to think is “God, what wonderful thing do You have for me next?”
So I’m choosing to think that now. I don’t know what’s coming next. Isn’t that the way life works? But I’m believing that God has something great planned. I just don’t know what it is yet.
And I believe God’s got something great planned for you too. Do you want to join me?
God’s Word
Isaiah 43:19, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the goodof those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.“
Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
Organizing Tip
If your home is anything like mine, after-school time can feel like a tornado stormed through my house. Books, backpacks, shoes, balls and so forth are spread from the front door to the kitchen table.
When everyone walks through the door, I want them to feel a sigh of relief, thinking: Home! Finally! So there is no correction of where they’ve dropped their stuff initially. But I don’t want things to stay a mess. So it’s important that everyone knows where to store their supplies once we had a chance to go through them.
Years ago I invested in a child-size, free-standing coat rack. This stands by the door, and is once everyone has done homework, their backpacks are hung up and ready for the next day.
Other options might be baskets, or a chest of drawers, or wall hooks. What matters is your children have a “home” for their school necessities. Here are some ideas:
Bringing order to my home, helps bring order to my mind. I just can’t think in chaos. And bringing order to my home helps my children prepare for school the next day. Which hopefully means more peaceful mornings. And less forgotten homework!
I’d love to hear your ideas for organizing children’s school necessities. Post a comment so we can learn from each other.
Grace & Peace,
Glynnis
Thank you for these words todsy. You are a blessing!
I went to bed last night with much anticipation for today, the first day of school. Although my son is the only one left at home now to “celebrate” this occassion with (he is a Junior and is not necessarily “celebrating” this morning
). My daughter had her first day of classes to begin her Junior year of college yesterday. Since I am a school district employee, the first day of school is also exciting for me beyond the happenings in my own home. I work in a Life Skills (K-8) classroom that is full of children with special needs. As a new year begins, I am slightly anxious to meet the new faces and new challenges for this year, but first I must get my own son out the door in a somewhat peaceful and organized manner. Our family and friends entrance to our home (“Back door guests are best”) is not very spacious and does not allow much for organization, but my children have both adopted a corner of the diningroom in the past to lay out their things for the next day. A simple crate or basket in the chosen corner can really detract from the backpack that does not fit into the diningroom color scheme (which I am proud to say is not robin’s egg blue). 
Thanks for making me smile this morning Glynnis! May your day be filled with smile moments as well. Blessings!
Thank you for this encouraging series Glynnis. I’m also the Mom of 3 boys so I could totally relate to a world shrouded in boyhood! My kids are starting 4th, 6th and 8th grade and as they become more independent I’ve been struggling with who I am. Although I’ve always worked part-time as a nurse and had other endeavors, as the kids grow and are successful at the tasks I’ve taught them (ie making their own breakfast) there is a bittersweet mix of emotions–glad they are growing and learning and might actually be able to survive on their own one day and sad they need me (at least for their physical needs) a little less. It’s a warped view–I know–and my identity should be rooted in Christ, but I’m stuggling nonetheless. Thanks for verbalizing what I am feeling. God Bless.
Our home is small and opens right into the main living area. We have a “nook” for coats – no door – and it’s not even square – it’s a triangle on the inside, so really cramped. I have hooks on the wall inside the nook at child-height where my girls are supposed to hang their coats. (Notice I said “supposed to” and not “do.”) As soon as we walk in the door, I have one of those cubby container shelving units with nine spaces that I bought at Target. Some are open and some have color-coded fabric boxes. My husband put hooks on each side of the unit for hanging backpacks. It works well enough. My pet peeve is that people put things on top when they’re in a hurry and pretty soon, the cubbies are empty and the top is a mess! But, it’s what we can do with the space and no mud room or similar area. It is what it is.
Thank you! I too have a hard time looking for the good of change instea of just focus on what seems to be my loss.
For the school mess, we got a great set of storage ottomans from Walmart. It looks nice and has 4 small ottomans (for each kid to put their shoes in) and one large one (for backpacks and snow pants). It has really helped the clutter and chaos that swirled around our front door and tiny coat closet (that now is for mom and dad only).
Thank you for yur words today. In two weeks, we are taking our son to another state for a 10 month internship. I have been thinking so much about my loss that I haven’t considered what God has in store for me. I knew that He has great things in store for my son, but didn’t think that this could be good for me. Your words touched me.
Thank you for our words! They came at just the right time. My little is starting school and I am heartbroken realizing she will be grown up and gone one day! What will I do without her sweet face every morning? I will remember that God has a plan for me in every stage of her and my life and to savor all experiences. Thank you for reminding me of that.
Thank you for such a gentle, timely reminder. Exactly what I needed to be reminded of today.
My van is so quiet right now with all four of my girls in school this year, but I’m not breathing a sigh of relief like I thought I would. All I can think is how empty and lonely it is. And I breathe an entirely different kind of sigh. I’ve been looking forward to having some peace and time alone, however, I did not anticipate feeling this way. I am glad to have other moms say that they feel the same way, that I am not alone. Thank you, Glynnis and others, for the encouragement that God has something good in store for me, too. He DOES work all things together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.
Oh, I almost forgot my organization tip – we have our girls hang their backpacks on hooks on their bedroom wall. They also have designated tote bags for their extracurriculars that hang on hooks, too. That way everything has a place, and its not in the way or in view in the common areas. (We also don’t have much space at our main entrance.)
Our backpack station is a wooden bench that sits at the bottom of our stairs. The kids all know to pack up their things for the next day and have them waiting there for the morning. They grab their bag and lunch and head out. Thank you for your reminders of keeping our identity ours, even though so much of what we do is for our husbands and children. So much of my day is scheduled based on the activities and needs of my 4 children. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but I need to remember it is ok to take time out to enjoy my devotions, read a book or sneak in a walk before I head to work. Thank you for taking time out of your very busy schedule to write – you are appreciated!
We have a pretty small foyer as well but finally got a fantastic idea for organizing it. we were able to take a full height bookshelf and screw it to the wall behind our front door (as in, when you open the door the door swings to only 90 degrees open anyway and hides it completely). We removed a shelf near the bottom so that we could put those Command strip removeable hooks in it to hold coats and bookbags (bookbag hooks are on the inside sides and the coat hooks are stuck to the back). We have small bins in the shelves above it that hold things like gloves, hats, cartridges for the electronic devices (that are car-only in our home), and anything else that might be a “grab on your way out to the car but don’t need to live in the car” item. We left the very bottom shelf so we could put shoes under it.
I want to chime in with others thanking you for reminding me that God has a plan beyond being a mother, which is all I ever wanted to be. As I was dreaming of having my own children, I didn’t include the day that they would leave and not need much mothering (which is a good thing for them). I have often wondered what I am going to do next. I still have my youngest at home but this is his Senior year so the “empty nest” is looming like a dark cloud but your words have brought the Light possibilities back into the future I might have.
Thank-you for sharing your story.
) but the boys had hooks at the end of their Cargo beds to put their bookbags on in readiness for the next day which seems to have worked well for us.
Not much of an organizer (even after reading your 14 day devotionals but have food for thought
This is lovely. My oldest is a senior in HS this year and I know this year will speed by. I have several friends who have “children” at college campuses as freshman and I shared your site with them. Wise words…listen to what God has planned for you and pray that your children will hear and see what is planned for them.
Glynnis…thank you for this very timely series as we all seem to be in various seasons of children returning to school. I have a daughter beginning 7th grade and a son starting high school as a 9th grader. I have found myself reflecting over various stages of my son’s life…the little boy running through my bedroom wearing his superman cape, the tween boy his first day of 7th grade in public school after we homeschooled from Kindergarten, now the 14 y.o. whose voice and height have changed, beginning high school and I wonder where the years have gone even though I’ve been blessed to be here every day with him. I’ve been tearfully reflecting on days gone by and trying not to think about the years that I now can count on one hand until he graduates. I needed to read this post this morning to be reminded that it’s all good and to rejoice in these NOW moments! This is not the end but the beginning of many good things…for my son, my family, me and I choose to agree with you that God has great things planned.
**could I ask for prayer for my 12 y.o. daughter who is home on her second day of school with a fever of 102. Thank you and may God Bless your day…
I am mom to three children – two boys and one girl. My daughter is in 3rd grade this year and doing well at school, is happy, funny, and sweet, just as she should be. Her brothers are those things also, but in their own ways because they are on the autism spectrum. All three of them are in school now, and most days I love the respite those 6 hrs provide, but right now, I find myself looking ahead to Sierra’s inevitable graduation, going away to school, etc. and I miss her. She helps keep me with her brothers more than she knows and just puts a smile on my face. Glynnis, thank you for pointing out that God has plans for me (and this family) that are as good as – or better – than what we’re in right now. I never want to make Sierra feel like we’re holding her back – I want her to pursue her dreams and have a light heart while doing it. I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you getting me to think about the “right now” and making it as good as I can for our family – for the boys and their individual challenges/wants/needs – for my girl – and for my husband and me.
Woops – I meant that my daughter HELPS me with her brothers – not helps KEEP me with them! Though some days I know all of us moms might like to run out the door!
The first day of school has arrived. Sent my man cub off to join his sister in junior high. Didn’t think it was going to be so hard.
Thank you for these words today! We are in the midst of change & I haven’t been looking at it with great anticipation. I’m seeing the loss, but haven’t looked for the anticipation, so I thank you!
We homeschool, so each boy has their own place for books, notebooks & pencil boxes. They are responsible for putting everything back in their area so we don’t spend forever looking throughout the house for the books.
I couldn’t believe when I read your posts today and yesterday. I had to chuckle b/c I posted on the same topics yesterday. I have an over the door organizer to store my folders in. These folders hold school papers and other important info. There is also hooks located at the bottom of the organizer to hang backpacks and lunchboxes. I ordered it from Amazon and it has worked wonders in organizing. There is a picture on my blog. Thank you for your organizing tips and encouraging words!
Thank you for this Glynnis. I am right there right now as today is my youngest’s second day of kindergarten. It’s been a hard transition and I have fought it for the last few weeks. I know I need to embrace it though (eventually) because this time is also a gift!
So true! I invested in a craft cart from michaels (with a coupon, of course!) Backpack will sit on top, and all school work and her craft supplies will be stored in this cart. I can’t believe my little one is old enough for her very own craft cart now. And she is so proud! =)
Great post, Glynnis! So wonderfully said! I appreciate your transparency and can relate to how you feel about first days of school. Thank you so much for sharing what was on your heart. You are a blessing!
)
Smiles,
Natalie
Thanks for this post. My son is stuck in PM Kindergarten and I really wanted AM because that’s what we had last year(transitional) and with high schoolers too, PM is very difficult. Maybe God has something special planned for my son and I by being in the class he’s in, so thanks for the different perspective. I definitely need to find a better place to put my kids’ backpacks, rather than just thrown on the floor. Thanks for the ideas!
I had never really thought about wanting my children to be happy they are home and the no immediate correction idea….I will be trying that tomorrow after school! I’m thinking maybe we are too hard on them sometimes! Since we have 5 boys, we bought a set of school lockers last year from someone who installs them in schools(he had brand new extras and we got a great price for them…found it on craigslist!) and that is where the boys school stuff goes when they get off the bus. It definitely keeps our front entryway clear!
I have GOT to remember not to put on my mascara in the morning before I read your blog posts. You have such a gift for putting emotions into words! My children are each taking big steps: starting high school, 6th grade, kindergarten, and preschool this year. In my head I know I’ve got to let go and let them figure out what God has planned for them (and for me!), but my heart still wants to hold on tightly. Praying for them all to be kept in God’s tremendous care is helping me cope, but it’s still hard.
Thanks for all the suggestions ladies! We have a craft cart for all the school supplies. I also bought (and labeled
) a set of clear plastic drawers for each person to keep their school/sports/activity papers in, as well as a family “Today” bin for forms to fill out, incoming mail, etc. But I had totally forgotten about designated places for all the bags/backpacks. I love the idea of Command hooks to get them up off the floor. Now, if only I can get them all to put their shoes ON the shoe rack…perhaps I’ll hold off on reminding them until after they’ve finished their snacks.
What a great message for me to read. My youngest is a senior in high school this year and as my husband and I were on the drive back from dropping my daughter off at college tears rolled down my face. My husband asked what was wrong, and I responded by saying I was overwhelmed by the anticipation of what next year would bring. Next year – can you believe it?! Thank goodness, he and your message reminded me of all the changes I have faced and how even when I could not see the good, God was working to bring good. Thanks for the reminder. God never leaves us and always has a plan for good
“Sometimes all I think about with my children is how much I’m going to miss this or that. But what I need to think is “God, what wonderful thing do You have for me next?”
So I’m choosing to think that now. I don’t know what’s coming next. Isn’t that the way life works? But I’m believing that God has something great planned. I just don’t know what it is yet. Sometimes all I think about with my children is how much I’m going to miss this or that. But what I need to think is “God, what wonderful thing do You have for me next?”
This is what I was thinking as I read the first post about your kids going off to school. I am learning to embrace, and even look forward to, the changes life brings. My children (and my circumstances) have taught me to be brave and bold and fearless in the way they “go with the flow”. I have accepted this as the best way to live, going with the flow of God’s Holy Spirit. Thank you for your honesty!
I thought I was the only one who went to stores where they had popcorn and Icees to bribe my children with while I shopped!!
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Although each day is a struggle and I want to kill my boys some days, I find myself thinking, “Oh no . . . they’re growing up. Now, what am I gonna do? How depressing!” Then, if I do ever look forward to the future, a little ME time, a little freedom, a new direction . . . well, then I just feel guilty.
I’ll try looking ahead with anticipation. Thanks again.