At 11 months of age, my first-born received a prescription for glasses. At 18 months of age he had eye surgery. Until he was 7 years old we patched his weak eye every day. To say I was over-protective was an understatement. I was ready to protect my boy from threats – emotional and physical.
I successfully protected Joshua to the best of my ability for years. I controlled his little world and Life was good. Two other babies joined our family, and Joshua loved his little brothers. In turn, they loved him back. In fact, they adored him for his kindness and loving nature. None of the threats I had envisioned entered our world. My confidence as a mother had increased. However, this idyllic life changed in a day. Although it wasn’t a true catastrophe, it shocked us out of the sheltered life I had created. In a word, it was “school.”
The day Joshua entered kindergarten, I came to an abrupt realization of our new reality: Joshua had moved beyond my ability to protect him. I couldn’t protect him physically. And I couldn’t protect him emotionally. For five hours a day, other children surrounded Joshua, and they didn’t love him like his little brothers and I did. A teacher oversaw his daily activities, as she also cared for 20 other children. He was on a playground without me watching. Even though it was a Christian school, Joshua spent his day with children whose parents raised them with different guidelines than we had at home.
As the truth of this new reality smeared my makeup with salty tears, I had to find another way to help Joshua. I wanted to hide my little boy so no one would ever hurt him, but I knew that wasn’t an option. As I wrestled with this desire to protect at all costs, God started speaking gently to me about trust.
God asked me a defining question for my life; one that I had to settle in my heart. It was this: Do I trust Him with the life of my children, or do I just say I do?
I love my children so much, it’s hard to imagine anyone loving them more. God was reminding me that not only does He love them more than I, but He also has the ability to protect them when I can’t. Entrusting my children to God took me to an entirely new level of faith. For me, it was where the rubber meets the road. It wasn’t enough to talk about trusting God, I actually had to do it.
So every day when I combed Joshua’s hair, dressed him in his little shorts and t-shirt and drove him to school, I prayed. Actually, it was more like a desperate begging plea: God, please protect my Joshua. Every time fear rose up in my heart, I had to (and still do today) repeat the words: I choose to trust You God. I don’t want to just say I trust You, I actually want to trust You.
Through this question, God revealed a hidden sin in my life: pride. I assumed the role of ultimate protector – a role God never meant for me. Through that role, I took God’s place in the life of my child. The truth is, I am a woefully imperfect and inadequate substitute for such a holy, perfect, and powerful Savior. When I assumed responsibility for my child’s complete protection, I was in fact training my son to look to me for answers and not God.
This school year, God is asking you the same question. Do you trust Him? Or do you just say you trust Him? They really aren’t the same thing.
I hope you’ll spend some time in prayer digging deep into this question. And it’s okay if you unearth some doubt. It’s okay if your answer reveals a serious faith deficit. At least you have a starting point. The question then is, where do you go from here?
What God has to say:
God’s Word
Psalm 22:4-5, In you our ancestors put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. To you they cried out and were saved in you they trusted and were not put to shame.
Psalm 9: 9-10, “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You.”
Psalm 20:7, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.”
Organizing Tip:
I love that I can trust God, because I surely can’t trust myself. Specifically, I can’t trust my memory. I’m astounded at what I can forget. Please do not interrupt me as I am walking from one room to the next or I might have to retrace my steps. And the number of brilliant ideas I am CERTAIN I won’t forget … yep … gone.
So there is no way I’m going to remember teacher work days and football practice schedules. After all, I seriously can forget a weekly meeting if I’m not careful to write it down. So today’s tip is for those of us who struggle with remembering dates, times, phone numbers and email addresses. And that is to write everything down even if you think you will NEVER forget it.
For the record, I use Outlook (synced to my phone) to manage my all my contacts and appointments. One of the first things I do at the start of the school year is enter all the school holidays, half-days and breaks on my calendar. Then, I enter my children’s teachers into my email contact list. I bookmark all the school and activity websites and have them organized in a “School” folder. I also enter in weekly events even though I should remember that every Monday night is Young Life and Wednesday there is church.
I have customized the calendar on Outlook so I can see certain things at a glance. For instance, I have holidays in red, doctor’s appointments in brown, birthdays in yellow, bills to pay in blue, and my speaking engagements in purple. Plus alerts set to remind me of each.
I also keep track of most everyone’s events on my calendar. As my children have grown, this happens less each year. But it is still a VERY full calendar.
There are two key practices in making this system effective: 1) entering information before I think I’ll need it. 2) Having it all in one place. So long as I enter the information
How do you manage all the data that comes your way? I’d love to hear! Thanks so much for joining me today! See you tomorrow!
In His love,
Glynnis
Your post could not have come at a better time. Our youngest just started college and
has been commuting back and forth to school. She went from just tooling around town to driving 50 minutes…on windy back roads…with ditches on one side and tractor trailers coming at you on the other. To say I’ve been pray A LOT would be an understatement. Thank you for reminding me to pray and then to trust God to watch over her.
Glynnis,
This was such a wonderful post. I’m so thankful I can trust God to protect my children. He can do so much more than I can.
One of the ways I organize at the beginning of the school year is by collecting all of the forms that I need to fill out and all of the informative letters the teachers send home. When I have them organized by kid, I clip them to my refrigerator door. Each kid has a clip. Field trip permission slips. Homework sheets. Photo order slips. All of these are front and center so I can easily access them and get them back to the school on time.
Alycia M.
AMEN! I have a family member that conveniently forgets about all social gatherings that our family is having and I have threatened to buy her a planner because for her I know it is by choice she forgets but for me I would most definatley forget if it were not for my trusty planner. I also have to write down all bdays and important dates, along with all appointments, etc… and it is color coded for each family member. If I didn’t do this, we would never make it anywhere on time and would “miss” many appointments. Great Advice!
Thank you Glynnis. Your comments reach reach those who have teenaged children. I really do want to trust God with my children, especially as they are preparing for college.
Your posts are wonderful!
Your last two blogs have really spoken to me and I know I need some time to reflect on this more. My daughter is only 15 months old, but I am continually reminded that the years go by fast. I’m a teacher and being home over the summer with my baby girl was the best. I’ll be honest I didn’t love every minute of it, but overall I’d rather be home with her than anywhere else. I have always wanted to stay at home or work part time. Working full time simply makes it very challenging for me to have the time I want with my daughter. But financially it’s not in the cards for us. So I send my precious little one off to daycare each day and I head off to work. I know in my head this is obviously what God has planned, because if it wasn’t I would be doing something else. I know in my head that God will take care of Jadyn while she’s at daycare, that God has something really great in store for our family, that I may have to wait to see God’s greatness. But I’ll be honest, I’m just not feelin’ it. I know there are many benefits, blessings to working full time and to Jadyn being in daycare. In the end they just don’t add up, they don’t make up for the fact I’d rather be the one to take care of her. I guess Gylnnis you are right, God can take far better care of her than I can. Maybe God is just trying to get that idea through my head sooner than later. All I know is I have a lot of praying and thinking to do, because I really do want to have faith that everything is as it should be, instead of being unhappy with the situation.
Hi Andrea!
When it read your post it sounded just like me… about 5 years ago!!
I too understand the struggles of being a teacher and having the precious time off with my daughter in the summers and then the sense of dread in putting her back in daycare each school year so I could go back to work. I wanted more than anything to be at home with my little girl. I felt so guilty that someone else was taking care of her, teaching her, spending time with her…especially since I had prayed/waited for 7 years to get pregnant with her.I was always worried as to what she was learning while at daycare from the teachers and the other children.
Fast forward to today… Symphony is now 5 yrs. She began kinder this week and I can truly say that I believe the years in daycare have prepared her in many wonderful ways for school. She’s always been a very socially adjusted child … Which I attribute to daycare and she understands school types of routines like sitting quietly, taking turns, sharing with others, etc.
God amazingly made a way for me to quit teaching this past year when she turned 4 and stay home with her. Even though I always wanted to be home with her in the early years … I wouldn’t have traded this past year with her. She is so much more impressionable and it has been a wonderful time to really interact with her and help form her character. If I had it to do all over again… I would still choose being home with her now …as a 4 and 5 year old.
God opened an amazing door for her to be in a new school where she goes to school 2x a week in Kinder and then I teach her at home the other days. It’s exactly what I was hoping for back when she was a baby. Being at home has required many changes and sacrifices financially … But they have ALL been worth it!
I don’t know what God has in store for you and your little girlie but I will pray for His amazing provision and guidance in the years to come for your family!!
Be faithful… even in the hard days when you can’t see an end in sight!! He’s working everything out for you. You can trust Him!!
Wow- I really appreciate today’s post. I too have made myself ” Ultimate Protector,” instead of reserving that role for God alone. That’s a very vulnerable place to be, as I am not omniscient or omnipresent! Thanks for helping me realize today, that it is not irresponsible to place our child’s well-being in God’s hands- it is faith and trust in the goodness and love of One greater than me. I’m going to start praying differently, and entrusting all my kids into His care. Thanks for bringing this into focus for me.
Thank you so much for this awesome reminder! Sharing this!
Glynnis,
Thank you SO much for this post today. I too stuggle with letting go/trusting God. I never realized that’s what I was doing until today. I was very excited about this school year and the opportunity to help in my kids classes and get some things done around the house now that both kids are in school full day, but now it looks like I have to get a job OR we have to move. I was very sad, but your post today was a reminder and a wake up for me. Thank you.
For organization, I still rely on a paper planner. I tried electronic, but found I didn’t get to it to write everything down often enough! So for me, my purple daily planner that I carry everywhere is a blessing (with the word Faith inscribed on it!) to keep me organized. Maybe if I ever get a phone that’s easy to keep everything in too, I’ll switch, but we’ll see!
Glynnis, you are speaking right to my heart with this series. I had these same thoughts this week… for the first time, my little guy is meeting people I’ve never met and experiencing things I’m not part of. I never thought of it as pride – that I’m the one who has managed to keep my son safe and healthy all these years and now that he’s out of my watchful eye, everything is a threat. But you’re right. I gave these babies to God years ago, but I’ve held on to them as tightly as possible.
As for organizing, a wall calendar works best for me. I’ve tried day timers, online planners, post it notes, but nothing keeps me organized like a wall calendar. I do feel silly when I bring it with me to meetings
.
Hi Glynnis,
I needed this TODAY! I’ve homeschooled my 3rd grade son (also named Joshua!) up until this year. Last week he started public school. It’s been a little rough, but he has a GREAT, compassionate teacher who doesn’t think negatively of homeschoolers. She even considered it herself.
My mom, a great prayer warrior, always prayed for her 4 children as they went to school, “…that the teachers would speak the words they need to say, and hold back the things they shouldn’t say…” and she prayed for wisdom and discernment for the teachers, and that God would protect us (kids) from the effects of humanism and other negative things taught in schools. Her prayers were REALLY LONG and specific, something I didn’t always appreciate as a kid!
When I was teaching, in both public and private schools, she also prayed the same things for me…as a teacher.
My mom has taught me to REALLY trust God with the details in life. I love how Psalm 37:23,24 (NLT) says:
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in EVERY DETAIL of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.
God holds my hand as I struggle with this step of releasing, but He also holds my Josh’s hand too!
Thank you for the reminder today. It’s going to be a little tougher today than yesterday, because yesterday was a little rough for Josh. But I have to remind myself that these growing experiences are making Josh into a stronger young man. And the God that protected me years ago is the same, powerful, loving God that will protect Josh today.
Glynnis & Friends,
I don’t usually comment, but I had to on schedules. I have learned that I must write EVERYTHING down. During busy season at work, I have to set a pop up to go to lunch or before I know it, it’s time to go home and I get burnt out very quickly.
My schedule method is similiar. I have my work pc and home pc linked, so I can have websites for school bookmarked and access them at both places, as well as Google Calendar. I have work events, sporting events, early-outs and days off for school, family activites, birthdays, paydays, my husband’s schedule, child rotations with the kid’s father as well as whose holiday it is, and much, much, more, all color coded and non-work stuff shared with my husband who can edit and add his stuff. I like Google Calendar because I can choose which calendars are visible, so if I only want to see the dates of volleyball games, I don’t have to sort through the clutter. I don’t have pop ups, but I do set it to e-mail me each morning at 5 am the list of stuff that’s going on that day, and then I can select individual events for pop-ups if needed.
I do not link it to a cell phone and carry it with me. It’s been a life saver as I am usually a “Yes, I can do that” person without really thinking about what will / will not fit into my schedule. It helps me be able to say “I’ll have to check my calendar and get back to you later tonight.” so I don’t over book. It also gives me an opportunity to check with my family to see what’s been added.
I also have a White Board Calendar stuck to the freezer door. This is strictly for Children events, and it is for them to look at remember when they need to leave for soccer practice, make a lunch for school, etc. Each child has their own color marker and is responsible for adding events. It’s known that if it’s on that board, the child is responsible for whats in her color. My kids are 9 & 12.
Thanks Glynnis for today’s wisdom. I love how God works and your post is right on time. My three girls just started school yesterday, and my oldest one just began middle school. I’ve been nervous about the whole middle school thing, especially since my daughter is head turning gorgeous (not trying to be conceded, but she’s so pretty it worries me) . We were at the bus stop this morning and the little boy that so bravely asked my daughter out last year in 5th grade, was sitting in the back of the hillbilly, ball bearing pick up truck and it was parked next to us. I told my sister the story of how my daughter flat out told him “no! “. Then we got to talking about what I’d do if a boy came knocking on the door asking for her. My reply, get the 22 out that has her name on it and point it to him just to scare him off. Is that considered being overprotective? Middle School is another world from elementary, they have to wear mesh see through backpacks and they’re not allowed to have a locker because of the drug problem. So trusting God, not just with my daughter’s innocence, but with her good judgement of friends is going to be my test this year. Please pray I pass this test of faith, trusting God with His daughter so I don’t push her away from me relationally. I want to be close to her and her to trust me so she can come to me for anything questionable. I’m going ponder on this lesson for the week. Are there any books on this type of parenting? I have three daughters to raise and this is an important subject for me and them. Thanks!
Thank you so much for this today! It truly encourages perspective and reflection. Trusting God to protect our kids is so important! And realizing He does this better than we can, brings us Peace.
Personally, I struggle with keeping track of dates and schedules. So I pledge to be diligent in entering everything into Outlook. And then making sure it is updated to the family calendar on the fridge…..Blessings!
I have been a calendar girl for years! I have things on outlook as well but find that I’m not near as good about entering them there as on my Flylady calendar that is on the frig where my hubby can see it. Ours is color coded much like yours, bills, b-days, church, mine and hubbies activities, farming, grandkids, mentoring kids, and my Dad. It makes for a very colorful calendar but we learned many years ago that if it’s not on the calendar it probably won’t happen.
Timely post my son is struggling with self doubt and I can’t seem to help with the hurt~ I have to trust God ~ I will be spending some quiet time reflecting on my trust in God. I love the verse Melinda shared
Psalm 37:23,24 (NLT) says:
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in EVERY DETAIL of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.
I will post this on the family bulletin board today.
As for staying organized I can’t live without our family wall calendar.
Bernadette
Thank you for this encouragement today. I am sending my college age son to school 17 hours away…talk about cutting the apron strings! I have been the “protectors” of all 3 of my sons and now that they are all teenagers and ready to go off to college, WOW is it different. A whole new lever of trusting God. Thanks for the reminder:)
It is astounding to me how similar we are in circumstance and thought. I have a Mac and use iCal to enter everything; it’s all cloud driven so it syncs to my iPad, my iPhone and I can share events with my husband as well as publish particular calendars. Everything in our home is color coded right down to the drinking cups, so we know whose is whose. Even the dog has her own color on the iCal so we know when it is time for her checkups. The dog is in blue, my work is in green, my husband’s calendar is purple, our rental calendar is red, the children’s activities are in orange and so on down the electromagnetic spectrum. School started Monday, so when they came home, all events were entered and time blocked accordingly. It works! Also, each child has a color-coded plastic folder that keeps papers unique to them and that may need referencing later; I have a separate drawer/cupboard for these things right below the counter where the phone is in the kitchen. We are always working on ways to tame the paper tiger.
I can relate to wanting to protect, but having to trust. For years now, one of my daily (and often multiple times daily) prayers is this:
“Dear God, watch over my children and protect them from harm. Guide them on the path that YOU have chosen. Help them make wise choices and draw them ever nearer to you.”
My children are now 15, 18, and 21, with the oldest 2 away at college.
For organizing, I use Outlook at work, but I have a paper (Daytimer) planner that I keep with me ALWAYS! To help streamline, I use color coding in both – each family member has their own color, too, so when I look at my daytimer I know the “who” without having to write their names. I just recently got a smart phone that I can speak messages into, and I’m finding it a great tool to leave notes for myself with reminders.
Glynnis – God has had to wrestle control of my children away from me, not once but twice! When my son started Kindergarten, I went through the same thing. I felt out of control because I could not protect him. God cleary showed me that it wasn’t my job. I had to lay them at his feet everyday. So every morning on the way to work, I would pray for his day, for his teachers and lay him at His feet. Some where between kindergarten and 4th grade, I took the reins back. My children (added a daughter to the mix) had to start a new school this year. I completely let feat take over. God finally had the “Come to Jesus” with me. And once again, reminded me that they are his. I have started, again, to pray on the way to work every morning. Praying for them, for their teachers and laying them at His feet. I am sure this is not the last time he will have to wrestle me for control. I am so thankful that He will remind me He is in control, He loves me, He love my children and His plan is better than whatever I could want for them. Thanks for be transparent. It is so much appreciated.
Another good post! My girls are 17, 15, and 11. I would have lost it if I wasn’t reminded very early that God loves them more than I EVER could! Thank you, Glynis!
I realized today that part of what makes it hard to send my daughter off to college is that I want to shield her from any pain, anxiety, or harm. I know she will be stretched in many ways, and some of it will be uncomfortable. I have a desire to keep that from happening, but I realize, when I face the facts, that that would be unhealthy for her. She needs the stretching in order to grow. If I protect her from all pain (as if I could), she will never mature. God has a plan for her, and part of it includes problems. I need to trust him to help her resolve them.
This something I think all parents struggle with. I have had to let go and let God with my oldest, who has given me my first grandchild ( which is such a blessing and you don’t love them more, just differently, but he is my heart) , but it is still just as hard seeing her make her own mistakes, not many, but just enough to see. We are reading The Story as a church and doing a year long sermon series on it. Last week we were taking about Joseph and his total faith in God/ Noah and his total faith in God. How amazing, I aspire to be like that! God will take care of my daughter and her choices, he has a plan for her life to do great and wonderful things and I am already so very proud of her, I need to lose the fear though.
Very timely post, Glynnis. My son is a rising senior in college but right now he is in India as a volunteer fr the university. He has been sick 2x! I admit I’m fearful and if my passport wasn’t expired, I’d be contemplating flying over there right now. Clearly, I have to trust God to take care of him.
Funny, I thought as my children grow older it will be easier but I find myself being on my knees more these days!
Hi,
I just read your post and had to respo
nd. My daughter is in India too! It certainly requires a whole new level of letting go and trusting the Lord.
This article really spoke to me this morning. I have to constantly remind myself to choose to trust Him wholly & completely.
I would love to “talk/share” more with you and encourage one another as our “children” are away in India. I hope you will respond. (My girl has been sick twice too; that iis Really hard!)
Susn
Glynnis,
I love that you are giving us scriptures to back up the encouraging words you are giving us. My children are all grown (4 of them) the last one just having bought his first home and moved out last week. He is the only one that lives near us. The other 3 are scattered across the eastern half of the country. I still worry over them and have to turn them over to God daily. I am so thankful for his faithfulness.
I appreciate your sharing of those scriptures! God is good! I have a tendency to take back my children & grandchildren as well. Today I choose to TRUST GOD! Thank you!
Glynnis,
Your devotionals the last few days, and all the readers comments have really touched me! They have also opened my eyes to a different perspective, one that I think God has been trying to get thru to me. I guess I have felt that I was not a “good mom” if I wasn’t constantly worrying about my children and trying to guide them and make sure they made good choices. I think most moms do this unconsciously. But, it became apparent to me in these readings that this had become an almost obsessive trait in me. It was draining and frustrating. You see I am now an empty nester! I took our youngest to school this summer. He is only an hour away, but is doing fine. My older daughter graduated college this summer and I’ve hardly heard from her since. I guess it is hard not to be “needed” anymore, or in charge of anything in their lives. I know this is good for them, I am glad they are independent and excited about pursueing their dreams. Although, there are things in their lives that I am not so happy about, and these things keep me on the worry train! I was feeling like when they aren’t making good choices that God is looking down on me saying you should have taught them better! You messed up, you didn’t do enough!! I still feel like that many days. I don’t believe this is true, but this is how I feel! I remind myself that I did a lot of stupid things as a young adult and it had nothing to do with my parents whatsoever! I agree w/ you that I really need to work on trusting God more w/ my children and realizing that they are ultimately HIS creations not mine. I did do the best I could to raise them in a christian home, I do feel good about that, and I know that HE knows that! It was liberating to me the other day after reading your back to school article and realize that I don’t have to feel guilty for turning them all over to HIM. I need to because I am worn out!
I am guilty of robbing God of His protector role as well, as much as I hate to admit that. You know when I sit back and think about it I just can’t make sense of WHY we feel the need to step in when we have a wonderful, loving God who longs to be the ultimate protector of our children. If only my head and my heart could get on the same page with this, oh how free I could be of all that unnecessary stress I have placed on myself by playing “God”. I pray that He will continue to work in me and give me freedom from this burden that I have carried for my entire 21 years of motherhood. What a relief to be reminded that this is not on my list of duties, ’cause we all know that we mamas already have a big enough list. . . and speaking of lists. . .
Boy do I have them!! My family calendar is usually so filled that it is sometimes impossible for anyone other than myself to even make sense of it. Color coding is one thing I have never tried, but plan to. Maybe that will help when quick glancing so that I won’t miss important reminders. I used to never forget anything. . . and then came 40. . . then 41. . .then 42. . . then 43. . . well, you get the picture. Thank you so much for today’s message and tip, both were just exactly what I needed for today.
A long time ago when i read your bio, i realized we have several things in common. When i read iutbso, i thought we were related. Now after today’s post, i think you’re having me followed! Lol Thank you so much for this post. My daughter starts kindergarten tomorrow, and aside from the items you listed, I have also feared that something sexually inappropriate would cross her path because it happened to me and my sisters when I was younger. I have made stern statements about what I would do “if this…” and I have been adamant that I could prevent…this post and the lessons in it are so real for me. Thank you for sharing so openly and helping others to overcome our struggles.
And I use cozi.com to stay organized
Hi sweet Glynnis!
This post sure touched my heart! My little girl Symphony just turned 5 yrs and started Kinder this week. Lots of transition for this momma!
This is just what I needed to hear. I did not realize my struggle was with pride in this area but you are completely right.
In May God spoke to me about going to Sudan, Africa this next summer on a 2-3 week missions trip to work with an orphanage.
I haven’t done this type of overseas missions work since my daughter was born and the immediate fear and worry I began to feel over leaving her to go work with these children really showed me I had some serious trust issues. I have a wonderful husband and family members who can care for her while I am away.
Then as she started school for the first time this week more fear, concern, and almost a sense of dread came over me because I couldn’t be with her to protect her and watch over her.
So your post is a huge blessing and God used it to speak many truths to my heart.
I shared a link to your post/blog through Facebook as I know it can help many of my friends who are struggling as well!
Blessings my friend!
Brandy Low
Hi sweet Glynnis! This is such a perfect post for my momma heart!!
My little girl Symphony started Kinder this week and I am struggling.
I shared a link to your site/post with my Facebook friends, too!!
I know it will bless many.
Thanks friend!
Brandy Low
This is just the reminder that I needed in this time of my life. I am the main caretaker of my two-year-old granddaughter, and my daughter and her husband recently separated. He wants to have her over extended weekends and my pride is crying out, “NO NO NO” even though I say I am trusting God to watch over her. Saying and doing are two different things, as you have so vividly pointed out, so thank you for the challenge to walk the faith walk, not just talk it. Thank you for your many insights….I read your blog daily but rarely comment, but it is a little oasis in the desert for me. God bless!