I was talking with a friend recently and got off topic at least five times. My mind felt like a butterfly, flitting from one flower to the next.
Finally, I said, “We better end this conversation before I bring up another random topic!”
Normally I’m able to think clearly, but recently it’s been hard to focus. I know this is in great part to losing my sister and being behind in my work. And I know I should have sat down and made a list of what I have to do, but that would have required more mental energy than I’ve had. And so I’ve hopped from one urgent need to the next without a master plan.
I decided to share this with you today because I’m proof that even a well-organized, focused woman can go through periods when the best-laid-plans fall apart. There are times when circumstances drain our emotional resources. There are times when grief, worry and stress fog up the windshield of our minds, making what’s right in front of our face blurred.
Thankfully, I’ve been here before and know how to get out. But I couldn’t do it until I was ready. I knew I had to allow some time before I whipped myself into shape. And so I’ve given myself grace. Grace to be cluttered. Grace to be forgetful. Grace to be less than attentive. Grace to scrounge for leftovers days in a row. Grace to make five trips to the store when I would normally make one.
Yesterday, for the first time in about two months, I felt ready to get my focus back. And so I did a few things that I knew would help, and they did. So I wanted to share them with you in hopes they will help you.
First, I picked up a new devotional book by Joanna Weaver, which prompted me to read God’s Word. It’s called “At the Feet of Jesus: Daily Devotions to Nurture a Mary Heart.” Oh how that called to a place in my soul. I needed to be at the feet of Jesus and to meditate on God’s Word. Scripture has power, and it helped me focus my mind.
Then I did some other things, not necessarily in order:
- I made a phone call I’d been putting off. Just getting that small task taken care of helped.
- I cleared some clutter in my work area.
- I started a new master task/project list and transferred information from small pieces of paper that were in the clutter.
- I set a goal of a certain number of emails to reply to – and made the goal. I’ll set another goal tomorrow.
I’ve still got lots of work to do, but I feel more focused. Oh, and I did NOT forget to pick a winner from Wednesday’s post. Congratulations to Donna who posted at 4:47 a.m. (PST) on October 10th. I’ve sent you a private email, Donna.
Thanks to all who entered and all who are reading this today. And I’d love to hear how you focus.
With much love,
Glynnis
My mom tells me that sometimes we are scattered because we have way more to keep track of than in the past. But my good pal tells me sometimes we are scattered because even though we know the anchor is Christ, we forget to really go to Him and say I need You and I cannot do this without You. I find when I go to her (my pal) and have a heart to heart with her and Christ, things find their way back into rows. Then I realize I really hadn’t been depending on Him like I could
I am not suggesting you did not talk to God Glynnis just that I understand only so well how things can go so smoothly and then something happens and the cards fall all over the floor in a mess! its the mess where God finds me and its the mess where He best shows how much He loves me, because really, He loves me more than anyone in those moments…….thank goodness
Kathryn, I could write a whole post about this. Interestingly, I’ve found it hard to pray in this situation of being unfocused. Some days my prayers are one word. I’ve sensed God wanting me to be thankful for what I have left, so I just send up little sentences of thanks throughout the day. You’ve got me thinking now about what I could be doing differently. Thank you for this comment. I really appreciate it.
Glynnis,
Thank you for your honesty.As
professional organizer I am always telling
people to give themselves grace when they
are having trouble focusing. We all have
periods in life that require us to just rest in Him
then lean on Him as we begin to move forward
once again. Continued prayers for your
continued healing and peace.
Blessings,
Peggy
Like I tell my kids, hang in there!
WOW…God’s timing is always right on. Driving to work this morning I was “downing” myself for being so unfocused lately. I have been going through a rough time with my daughter who is in the middle of a divorce. I have told my boss what is going on and asked for patience, but still she keeps “doggin” me every time I make a mistake no matter how small. I want to get it together, but just can’t seem to focus on my day to day tasks. Your message this morning encourages me to keep taking this to God every day and eventuallly things will level back out for me.
I had a meltdown this week, listened as words flew out of my mouth. I was sorry immediately and now ashamed. Lord, help me to find the grace to cut myself some slack. Let the words I speak be words You would use.
Thanks 4 sharing this. I am and have been for sometime now in a stressful place in my marriage. I have times when I really find it difficult just to do the daily things required. Which makes me feel there is something wrong with me. Your honesty in sharing this has made me realise I need to give myself grace at times and not be so hard on myself. I also know I need to get into the word more which is what I have been trying to do.
My husband often travels for long periods of time and this is especially when I feel scattered. I believe because a part of our family is missing. Recently our oldest son left for college and shortly after my husband left for an extended work related trip. Scattered you say? I felt extremely scattered! As I was searching for answers I found (God lead me)your blog. It encouraged me to stay focused in Gods word. He is able to carry us through these scattered times and the lessons he has for us will grow us beyond anything we could imagine. I’m sorry for your loss and pray for his comfort over you and your family.
Sincerely,
Regina
Regina,
As I read your comment this morning it was like I was reading a page out of my own personal book. I too have a son away at college and my husband travels for extended periods of time and I feel scattered. Sometimes it’s hard to stay focused on just the day to day tasks that I have to do. I know that leaning on God will help me get through. He (God) lead me to this blog doing one of those times and I have enjoyed my time here.
Boy, I certainly can relate to “not finding focus.” After completing seminary in May, it took me four months to begin to feel like a “real person,” healing from the exhaustion and stress of finishing an education process, packing and moving BY MYSELF, then unpacking and trying organize new living quarters. Slowly, I’m beginning to feel like I’m getting me feet underneath me. Still, I question my health. God does have a plan, and I need to continue moving forward as God provides and heals me.
Thank you for giving me (and I’m sure a few others) permission to lose it. But thank you also for showing us that we have to get back up and get back in. I just lost my beautiful 75 years young Mom to a sudden stroke. My Mom was not only beautiful on the outside, but she was a beautiful person on the inside. She was vivacious and loved life and the Lord. I know she is with him and that nothing will ever make her sad again, but I just miss her so much! She left me and my siblings far too soon. Next week my husband will undergo surgery in his neck (the first of two surgeries he will need). I really need to focus because I will be taking care of him as well as taking on his responsibilities while still not myself yet. I ask that you keep us in your prayers. Oh, did I mention I have two teenage daughters? Need I say more. Thank you again for you words of wisdom and your advice.
Dorothy- oh precious one, I’m so sorry about your mother. Your heart must be so sad. I’m praying God fills you with His peace, and that soon your tears will turn to joy. Thank you for taking the time to post this comment.
Hi Glynnis, I’m totally with you. I feel that scattered brain more often than I’d like. I do have ADD but can usually control it by being more intentionally organized. Reading my bible in the morning always makes the focus easier for me too! Joanna Weaver is an awesome writer, I am leading a women’s bible study right now from her “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” book and it is outstanding (this is actually the second time around for me….I really believe in it!) Keep reading girl! It will set you right back on the path! Blessings!
ps….I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your sister….I will be thinking of your family.
Just felt the need to whisper a prayer for you. Glad you have “allowed” yourself time to unfocus. Thank you for sharing your journey with so many. So many times the Proverbs 31 Ministry has been used by God to send me just the message I needed, Please whisper a prayer for me as well. God bless
Martha – I’m praying right now for you. May the Lord be your strength, peace and hope in the midst of whatever you are facing now.
Glynnis,
Please know I am adding you to our family prayer list. We will be praying for you..
Peace be with you .
God Bless You and keep you in a sound mind and strong soul
Thanks for sharing what is on your heart. I think it helps all of us to hear when such a strong christian women shows us her struggles. It helps us not feel all alone in our struggles. Praying for peace for you.
Thank you for showing your “human-ness”. I appreciate your honesty and it is comforting to know that it is healthy to let go of a few things when life gets overwhelming. For me, it is easy to forget to take care of myself… and at times when my world feels messy and out of control, a good walk helps to restore order in my head. A nice, long walk gives me time to talk with God. He helps me focus. And it helps me take care of my body, God’s temple.
Blessings to you -
I so appreciate your ministry – I went through Melissa Taylors online Bible study with your book this summer “I Used to be so Organized”….clarification: I almost got all the way through the study! I set up the notebook of everything I was involved in and then did the same thing at work! I have managed to keep up the notebook at work, not so much for the home version. I have two kids in college in two different states, had another college kid live with us this summer and when she left, had a coworker move in temporarily while she was building a house – add some church responsibilities in there and my life seems to move faster than me! I have taken your advice and downsized some activities, but focus is hard – I am working my way thru “Unglued” at the moment – both your study and Lysa’s have been just what I need to keep my emotions/tongue in check – even my kids/husband have noticed the change. Thanks again for your willingness to help us realize we are not perfect and can’t fix it all at once!
Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. Our mom went home to our Lord and my dad 6 months ago very suddnely and the duties of handling her estate and what money does to some families has been overwhelming. I still feel in a fog and unable to focus. I have done the very things you mentioned. I asked God to make it real for me this morning as I poured out my heart to Him and He did just that thru you. God Bless you!
Thank you Glynnis. These moments are my refocus moments. It always good to remember that God has plans for us and its okay not to control all the chaos all at once. Type “Be Perfect” here and know that I can never measure up to perfection and knowing that frees me. Find grace in small things and the butterfly moments sister!
I am usually pretty organized, but through some events in my life, I got really out of hand. I found a couple of books that helped. Plus, starting to exercise in the morning helps to get the stress out and focus on God. Especially while singing “This is the Day” with my daughter during the walk.
Being able to concentrate on one thing at a time also helps. Teaching it to my daughter, not so much.
Thanks so much for sharing, I ‘feel’ you today. Five years ago when I lost my grandson I thought I was losing my mind, I could not stay focused to save my own life, I too had a hard time praying. It was not until I sought out a christian therapist did I realize that grief can actually have an impact on our cognitive abilities, and I was able to give myself some grace and some time to process my loss. I so appreciate your words today as they help me to realize that I am not alone and once again (as you do so often) you really connected the pieces. I am so sorry that you have to experience this grief process, but please know that God is using you even in your pain. I have had 5 years to learn many lessons since my loss, not the least of which is to reach out and engage in life and seek comfort from others – your messages are part of that comfort. Thanks so much for what you do, God’s timing is perfect, especially today.
Glynnis, thank you for giving us the book “I Used To Be So Organized”; it has been so helpful to me. I am so sorry about your Sister’s death, and I know that you and your family will be grieving for her for a long time. My sister’s move back to Georgia (from Mississippi) has been about more than I could deal with, so I can’t imagine your experience (although I know that it will come…for one of us). The love and companionship of a sister is one of the strongest bonds there is; you have literally been “together” since one of you was born, and you know all the strengths and weaknesses of both, as well as the rest of your family members. I’m grateful for all of you at Proverbs 31, and I feel that I have found “sisterhood” with many of you. We are a “Gather and Grow” group under Melissa’s direction, and we look forward to all that affiliation will offer to the women of our city (Meridian, MS). Thank you for all that you do!
I so needed to hear this today. I struggled for hours last night (missing out on my precious sleep) over something that really amounted to nothing, but I could not get a grip or handle on my emotions. Thank you for reminding me that I can give myself the grace of not feeling guilty for making decisions that are best for me.
Oh, ladies. I’m so thankful for all the comments to this valuable blog that Glynnis allowed herself to be exposed in. So many of the comments are repeated issues. It is good to be in good company, isn’t it! Speaking of good company: the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19 has spoken to me immensely as of late. After God had just proven through Elijah that our God is THE God to those of them who were worshiping other gods … Elijah then must’ve been beside himself because he told the Lord “I have had enough. Take my life”. Life is precious and is a gift – so I pray that we are not often at the point of “take my life” (although if we are, I’m glad God desires our honesty in prayer); however I admit that I have been at the place of “I have had enough” all too often lately.
In being on a journey to see myself as the Lord sees me (good AND bad) in order to be more authentic and true to how He desires me to respond to issues in the ‘daily grind’ of mothering/homemaking, I have come to the awareness of my lack of attentiveness. It’s been pointed out to me that it is because my brain is wired to have “14 thoughts go through it in a minute” (AADish). In becoming aware of that fact about myself, it has brought me to a place of being intentional about being focused. Thank you, Glynnis, for your earlier de-cluttering challenge. That has allowed me to begin the habit of writing down master projects as well as daily projects. God has blessed me with that list because it allows me to see ALL that has been accomplished in a day … and to give myself some grace for NOT getting ALL of it done. I will begin to be intentional about praising Him for the things that did get done.
I will admit that I’ve totally slacked at praying the 3 verses* over my list and I intend to put that back into practice. Maybe THAT’s why I’ve internally stated “I have had enough” as of late … I’m doing it of my own accord rather than through Christ who strengthens me and through His mind and will. AHA!
The gem that speaks to me in 1 Kings 19 is later when God came to Elijah. He wasn’t in the wind, or the fire, or the earthquake. He came in a “gentle whisper”. We have wind, fire, and earthquakes around us often, but we can know through Elijah that God comes in a whisper so we must be still and be quiet so we can hear Him.
*James 1:5, John 14:26, 1 Corinthians 2:16
All week I have been thinking how “I used to be” so organized and with it. I feel like a failure at times. I do need to be better organized. I am forgetting important things.
I care for my mother – she has Alzheimer’s. She really does keep me busy. I wear an employee hat, a wife hat, a mom hat, caregiver hat.
I have been losing receipts forgetting to record things and I have messed up. I used to make grocery lists – now I’m luck if I get to the store. Does this even make sense?
This spoke to me today. Thank you for being open and honest.
I used to be organized. Then we moved. Our ‘stuff’ is in a storage unit in ND; we are looking for housing in Mpls area. I am so down and tired of looking for a place and today I realized we truly have to find a place big enough for my Mom in law to move in with us. At 93 she needs no stairs – so that throws another log into the housing fire (everything has stairs) … I am so discouraged today. We live out of suitcases in my son’s apartment – they have been so wonderful to put up with us. Now I feel like I can’t handle or do anything right. Prayer and reading God’s Word and blogs such as yours has helped me maintain at the moment.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m praying for your healing. Whenever I think God is not answering my prayers, He reminds me to quit striving and rely on his strength, not mine.
Bless your heart Glynnis You are the most precious & honest woman I have listened to in a long long time 2009 was a rough year I broke my femor mopping in those rubber crock shoes slipped on bathroom floor hooked my foot on cabinet My best friend of 20 plus years home burned to the ground, My mother died & family did not tell me & then my friend whose house burned wrote me a Dear John letter out of the blue I would have bought her a house if I could have I remember it was during Christmas & it took me one whole day to make my bed shower then it was time for my husband to come home i knew then i was spiraling down i found scriptures to say &’claim Church friends even a very close pastors wife did not acknowledge my Mothers death I forgave immediately Also a neighborhood boy tried to get in my house & burglarize it with me being here! Wow was all this really happening? I knew Jesus would never leave or forsake me but He proved to me He really won’t A very deat online ministry sent out a letter & said that many of you are experiencing depression & to please email a note & they would pray I told them my nickname is Sunshine & that I was always able to pull my boot straps up but this time I was in the paralyzed state Immediately they responded with a letter in the mail & a bottle of anointing oil called “Joy” Boy did I annoint myself & received in agreement what they prayed for me with scriptures!!! During that time I did give myself grace & I began to see the Lord’s love in a deeper way! Psalm 92 says we are strong as an ox (not very feminine huh) but we are I pray that during this time if you need to sleep sleep, if you need someone to clean your house it’s ok or if you need to sit in your pj’s until noon it’s ok! It took me a long time to remember its grace & more grace Sometimes a sabbatical is ok Our precious Pastor says its ok to get off track just observe yourself & don’t stay there too long! I will pray & send skud missile prayers up for you & that very soon you will be whole again So many of us love you but not as much as sweet Jesus I wish I lived close I would come & help you clean,cook, & do errands You always pour out to all of us May the Lord’s balm of gilead cover you right now from head to toe! Grateful for you Glynnis
Somehow, knowing whatever you struggle with staying on top of things when life throws you a curve makes attempting t organize my incredibly messy life
I randomly chose this devotion tonight before bed & it could not have been more for me than if I had written myself. Thank you Glynnis for being Gods servant & sharing your life. I really don’t think we have any idea of how God uses the little things to encourage others.
Praying for you as you peaty for me:)
Karen
Thank you so much, Glynnis, for opening your heart. This past year I’ve gone through a … complicated relationship with a close friend. I was doing better gradually through the year until I found closure a couple of weeks ago. And that is what hurt the most, knowing that it was officially over and the hope of us getting together died. I’ve been in a haze, not willing to anything but the bare necessity of going to my college classes (although I did skip a few to just be by myself). But now, like you, I’m ready to focusing again and walk towards a different future than I was planning and hoping for. Again, thank you, for giving me a starting point. God bless you in all you do, Bethany
Glynnis,
Thank you for sharing your struggles with focus and staying on top of things. You can tell that I’m having the same problem because I just now opened this post from Oct. 12! After 625 days out of work, I started a new job about 3 weeks ago. I’ve had a really hard time trying to organize my time for Bible reading, cleaning, time for family, and just trying to find energy for anything other than work. It’s not an overly stressful job, and only 8 hours a day. Your post helped me see that I can take a few minutes and do ONE thing. From past experience, as I begin to declutter and organize my life, my energy reappears.
Thanks for your continued faithfulness. You’re helping so many of us walk a closer walk with the One who makes life “alive” for us!
Theresa M
I have much difficulty focusing. . .I am teaching in a new program, taking a grad class online, am a mother of 3 busy kids and feel like I just cannot get it together. How is there enough hours to get everything done? I have found when I start my day reading my bible (I keep it in my car and stop for a morning devotion before going into my classroom each day) and praying my days are much more peaceful. I realized I do truly need to give it all to God – including asking him to give me the words to write my paper or do my assignments or give me the strength to clean my house or make dinner or get groceries. EVERYTHING is much easier handled with God as my “leader” in it all. Even the minor details in life – not just the big stuff!
PLEASE tell me how you are coping with the loss of your sister. I lost mine in February and I am struggling to just breathe. She was my best friend all these years & I her care giver for the last nine. I help with two children, 11 and 9 years old, and it’s hard to camouflage tears when they are dealing with a loss as well. (It’s funny when you go through Stephen’s Ministry training and you know that ultimately our goal is to be with our Father in heaven….you still are just deeply sad. I have a huge void in my life that I don’t want to fill right now….is that wrong?)