Glynnis

May 2012

Bloom where I’m planted? U crazy?

Posted by Glynnis

Last week I made a comment about feeling like life was passing me by when I was a mother of small children. Every day I set another milestone ahead of me as a goal to get past. Like this one: If I can just make it till they are sleeping through the night …

… off the bottle

… out of diapers

… into school

… and so on.

I remember thinking, I should be enjoying this stage more. Everyone tells me it goes by fast. But no matter how many pep talks I gave myself, there were days when I was sure God had made a mistake. I mean, how do you take a woman who was born to complete projects, and assign her to a life where nothing is every completed? I was certain God meant for me to find meaning and purpose outside of my assignments at home.

Here’s how bad it was on some days. If Mary Engelbreit herself had knocked on my door to deliver a hand-painted picture with the the saying “Bloom where you are planted” I seriously might have slapped her.

It was in the middle of that difficult period of my life that God moved my family across country from Arizona to North Carolina. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any harder – it did. It was only for two years but I was devastated. I felt like I was so close to regaining my “real” life, and just when I could almost touch it, God ripped it out from under me. Well, I didn’t really blame God. It was more my husband’s fault, as I saw it.

But just when I was determined to suffer in Southern-fried misery – and with a husband who had taken me sooooo far out of God’s will (at least as I saw it) – God taught me a lesson. And wouldn’t you guess, it had to do with blooming where I was planted.

Seems I had it wrong. The blooming God needed to happen wasn’t in my circumstances. I wasn’t supposed to figure out how to do more in the midst of challenges. God didn’t want me to work harder to overcome my “limitations.” Instead He had something new in mind. God didn’t want more of the old.

God had a fresh vision for me … and the blooming needed to happen inside my heart. In the midst of what very difficult, lonely, and disregarded circumstances – God wanted something new to grow.

In the midst of feeling unappreciated, God wanted gratefulness to grow.
In feeling overlooked, God was training me to look to Him for affirmation.
Instead of rushing to the next moment to happen, God wanted me to find Him in the current one. He needed me to mine more value out of the present.

God needed me to stop trying so hard to control the circumstances, and to trust that He wouldn’t let any hard time go to waste. Yes, He knew it was hard for me. After all, He made me. But He also knew there was still work to be done. It was a time for my insides to match my outsides.

Typing those words on a blog makes it sound like a simple, clean process. It wasn’t. It took years to accept that God had (has) something to teach me smack-dab in the middle a hard times – and I’ve have MANY more since then. And sometimes it takes daily (hourly) pausing from the struggle of the moment and looking up to Him for advice, encouragement and refreshment.

Last week I was driving when I saw one of my favorite sites in the desert: the saguaro cacti are blooming. And the image of a beautiful flower perched amidst thorns seemed perfect for this message. So I took a few photos to share with you.

And then God put this Scripture into my mind:

“Forget the former things;do not dwell on the past.See, I am doing a new thing!Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19

Are you feeling weary today, dear one. Take some time to read Isaiah 43. It’s a beautiful reminder that God sees you, and has not forgotten you. He may or may not change your circumstances, but He can do a new thing in your heart.

Thanks for joining me to day. If you are reading this in an email and would like to leave a comment, please click here to be taken to my blog.

In His abundant and refreshing love,

Glynnis

46 Comments | Filed Under: faith, perspective

May 2012

Do you ever feel like running away?

Posted by Glynnis

Years ago, when my first three children were small, I found a book in a Christian bookstore. The title perfectly depicted how I felt at that time. So I bought it, carried it home, and hid it (still wrapped in the store bag) in my bedside table.

The title was: Sometimes I Feel Like Running Away From Home.

I was embarrassed for my husband to see it. My oldest was just learning to read and I didn’t want him to see it either. What would they think? How could I explain that I didn’t really want to leave, but every once in awhile I wanted to not be touched, pulled at or asked a question. I loved my family, but I felt like I was losing me. And then the guilt set in.

How could a woman who experienced three years of infertility and now had three healthy children ever want to be away from them? Wasn’t I supposed to be enjoying every peanut-butter kiss and jelly-smeared hug? What was wrong with me?

I don’t remember ever reading the book. I think I just kept it hidden. But I do remember the feelings.

Inadequacy
Overwhelmed
Exhausted

And when those three emotions combine, you are nearing a danger point. While I never seriously considered running away, my soul needed refreshment. In the midst of being a full-time caregiver, I needed to be reminded that I was important. That my opinions were valuable. And that it was okay to incorporate my love of roses, afternoon tea and Wedgewood china into my life then, not set aside for some unknown date.

I remember the day things changed for me. It wasn’t a super-spiritual moment. It was a Target moment, standing in the shoe department looking at the most adorable girly tennis shoes. As the mother of three boys my life was consumed with masculine things. So for a brief moment, I dismissed the shoes, thinking they were too girly. I took two steps and froze. A thought crossed my mind: Wait. I’m a girl.

That day I bought the cute tennis shoes, and determined to start incorporating the things I loved into my life. I could only do it in little ways, but those little things sustained me on some of the hard days. A pretty coffee mug, fresh cut flowers on the table, a ruffled blouse. In the midst of the chaos, I created little vignettes of beauty, little moments of peace. Yes there was still Barney on the VCR and Hot Wheels in the hall. But those touches of me really helped.

Of course the answer to feeling overwhelmed and inadequate as a mom isn’t as simple as buying a cute coffee mug. Nothing can take the place of the peace the only Christ can bring. But identifying that my needs had value was a start. Once I admitted it to myself, I was able to let my needs be known to my husband, who was very supportive. I was able to be honest in prayer too, and God ministered to my spirit.

By the way, I still have the book. I found it before writing this post and smiled. It’s a reminder that time does pass, and perspective really helps. All moms need a break to get perspective. We need to rediscover us so that we can continue to give to others. After all, if there’s nothing left inside, what can we give?

I hope this post encourages you to treat yourself this Mother’s Day. You are valuable and important. You are worth a treat. You’ve got a big job and you need to be refreshed!

Speaking of being treated, we selected four commenters from the past two days at random to win copies of “Always There” featuring a devotion by Renee Swope, a Mining for God Character Calendar and a CD of a mom’s message by Renee. The winners are: Stephanie C posting May 8 at 3:09 am; Ron posting a May 8 at 5:05 am; Laura D. posting May 8 at 9:29 pm and Michelle May posting at 9 at 11:23 am. We will be sending you an email so please watch for it.

Thanks to everyone who commented. And if you’d like to leave a comment today, please remember to click here to be taken to my blog.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love,

Glynnis

41 Comments | Filed Under: Encouragement, motherhood

May 2012

Help for Overwhelmed Moms

Posted by Glynnis

Having three little boys in less than four years just about did me in. Life was hard when they were small. All the whining, crying and complaining … and then there were the children …

In my devotion today I told about a phase in my parenting when I reached out for help. But that wasn’t how I handled motherhood at first. Before I explain, I’d like to welcome any readers who are here for the first time after reading my Encouragement for Today devotion. I’m so glad you’re here. Please keep reading for some great giveaways that will encourage moms. But first, let me take you back to the early years of being a mom.

Back then, I refused to admit that having children changed my life. Crazy, I know. But I wanted to keep doing all the things I used to do before children. In fact, I secretly took pride in being able to do a lot no matter what it cost all of us. So I dragged those little boys here and there, usually leaving early with a pasted-on smile and held-back sobs until I could get into the safety of my car and collapse.

My entire life at that time was filled with trying to regain my old life … and the old me. But it wasn’t happening. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t match my circumstances with my personal expectations. And I was one big disappointment after another – to myself.

There was this quiet sense of desperation that life was passing me by. All I saw were my limitations. And I was miserable. But I never told anyone. I kept it inside and just tried harder.

Oh how I wish I could go back to my younger self and give her some advice. There was so much I missed back then. Thankfully, God intervened in a BIG way and I learned some lessons that saved me from years of regrets. But if I could, here’s what I would say to my overwhelmed self 16 years ago.

1) Renegotiate your expectations of yourself. Don’t expect that you can do the same things you used to do. That not fair to you or your family. You might be able to maintain the same lifestyle for awhile, but the costs will not be worth it in the long-run.

2) Your worth and value aren’t found in what you can do. They aren’t found in how well you can run a committee, organize a retreat or handle a job. They aren’t found in how well you can sing or direct VBS. Your value isn’t found in your accomplishments because things never stay accomplished. Your worth is found in who you are in Christ. You don’t have to do anything. Just be.

3) There is no unproductive time in God’s economy. What seems like wasted years, aren’t. God is always doing something, teaching you something, preparing you for something. If you miss what God has put in front of you right now, you won’t be ready for the next thing when the time is right.

4) Pay attention to your heart more than your appearance. And I don’t mean physical appearance. You can fool everyone else, but you can’t fool God. And He cares about what’s going on inside. Guard your heart against complaining, critical thoughts, envy, judgment and anything that isn’t of God. Take your wrong thoughts captive and submit them to the Lord for His help in changing them.

5) Tell someone how hard this is for you. Find a MOPS group, start a moms group in your neighborhood, or invite someone over for coffee. Don’t do this alone. And if the first person or group isn’t a good fit, then try another one. You need support from moms who understand how tough this motherhood thing really is and who won’t judge you or make you feel less spiritual because you admit you sometimes think about running away (even though you’d never do it in a million years).

If you are feeling overwhelmed and desperate today, I know just how you feel. And so does our Heavenly Father. He knows when you wonder if you will ever wear anything besides your pajamas again. He sees every tear you cry after you take your baby to a caregiver on the way to work. He knows howhorrible you feel after you’ve exploded over something minor. He sees, He knows and He cares. And He longs to have you turn to Him before you do anything else.

Being a mom is the best and hardest job I’ve ever had. This week as we get ready to celebrate Mother’s Day, I hope you’ll take the time let a mother know how much you care about her and appreciate all she does. In honor of Mother’s Day, my friend Renee Swope and I have gotten together to bless a few of you with some gifts. Renee is featured in a new book by Revell Publishing called “Always There.” It’s a compilation of reflections for moms on God’s presence. We’ve got two copies to give away to someone who posts a comment on my blog today or tomorrow.

Renee is also giving away a copy of her Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child chart and one of her CD messages for moms. I hope you’ll visit Renee’s blog today and get to know her. She’s an incredible mother and her writing encourages me personally.

I’m so glad you stopped by today. If you are reading this in an email, please make sure you click here to enter the drawing by leaving a comment on today’s topic. To leave a comment go to www.GlynnisWhitwer.com, scroll to the bottom of the post below my name and click on the comments link.

Thanks again for joining me, and may the Lord be your peace today.

In His love,

Glynnis

403 Comments | Filed Under: motherhood, Uncategorized

Apr 2012

Why am I never tempted by good things?

Posted by Glynnis

Before I share some thoughts for today, I wanted to mention that my friend Melissa Taylor is leading an online Bible study using my book, “I Used to Be So Organized.” It starts May 27th so there’s plenty of time to sign up. I was just on her site and realized she’s doing a give-away of my book today too! There are some requirements to win, including leaving a comment here. So I’d encourage you to open a new tab and visit www.MelissaTaylor.org.

Now some thoughts for anyone who struggles with weight loss like me.

After a few months of consistent weight loss, I hit a plateau. Let me just say that at this season of life, my plateaus aren’t even flat anymore. It’s more a boomerang affect when it comes to weight loss, with the threat to be right back where I was five months ago looming big.

I’ve been thinking about ways to get motivated again. One thing is to get back into the habit of making a menu plan for the week, including lunches. When I don’t have a plan I scrounge … and all those extra bites add up fast.

I’ve also dropped a lot of carb-loaded side dishes from my menu. The really hard thing about getting “more mature in years” is that the amount of food I used to eat to maintain my weight, now makes me gain! It’s completely unfair.

The other thought that hit me this week is I’m never tempted by good things.

French fries, donuts, cheese crisps, and brownies tempt me. Bites of my kids’ Chipotle burritos and Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supremes tempt me. Sitting on the couch vegging (not with veggies) tempts me.

I’ve never found myself just about to eat a cheeseburger and onion rings and think “Boy howdie, I wish I had a salad with low-fat dressing!”

No! I’m tempted by what’s not healthy for me. That’s the nature of temptation.

So this week I’ve repeated a Bible verse when I want to give in. 1 Corinthians 10:13:

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (NIV)

Yesterday when I bought my daughter and her friends McDonald’s food before a dance practice (yes, I know there are all kinds of things wrong with that!) But, (happy thoughts!) I did not eat one french fry as I recited that verse in my head. I also wrote it on a 3×5 card and taped it to my refrigerator.

I know God’s Word is powerful. My problem is I depend too much on my own strength.

Temptation to do what’s not best for me happens every day. It happens when I choose to avoid working on a difficult task and choose something mindless. It happens when I short-cut putting away clothes and pile them on the counter.

The temptation to do the easy thing happens daily. But no temptation has overtaken me … God is faithful … He provides a way …

I’m looking for some inspiration to get back on track. If you’ve got an idea, please post a comment. If you are here from Melissa’s blog, you can just let me know you are doing the online study. Either way, I’d love to hear from you today.

If you are reading this in an email, please click here to be taken to my blog to post a comment.

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

128 Comments | Filed Under: weight loss

Apr 2012

Is it really about money?

Posted by Glynnis

Today I’ve got a devotion running over at Proverbs 31 about money, and what my spending and giving habits revealed about my heart. If you are visiting for the first time after reading that, thanks for joining me today. And welcome to my regular blog readers.

Although my devotion was about money, the deeper lesson for me was about faith. Let me tell you that it took painful and deep honesty to get to a place of admitting my faith wasn’t as strong as I thought it was. I danced around the truth for years because I truly loved God and believed in the absolute truth of Scripture. How could I have alack of faith??

Well, what I learned is you don’t discover the weak areas of anything until pressure is applied. And when the pressure was on me to tithe, my lack of faith in God as my provider was revealed.

Even though it was hard to admit, it was a really good place to be. Honesty always is. Because it was at that place of gut-truth that God could actually start to work on my faith.

Giving hasn’t been the only area where pressure has been applied to my faith. Parenting driving teenagers and now young adults has uncovered some weak areas. Adopting a child whose problems I can’t solve revealed another area that needed attention. The financial crisis a few years ago showed I still had work to do.

Although it’s painful at times, I don’t fear the pressure anymore. Because each time a weak area shows up, and I confess my lack of faith, God shows Himself faithful – usually in a miraculous way. It seems He’s just waiting for me to get to the end of myself so He’s fully got my attention. And each time my faith gets stronger.

So if you are feeling the pressure today, don’t run from it. Turn in to it and confess your lack of faith to Jesus. Ask Him to show Himself faithful and watch what He does. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Thanks again for joining me, and I’d love for you to sign up to be a regular reader of my blog. I normally blog twice a week, usually on issues like organization, productivity, time and home management. But I also love to throw in something completely different when the Spirit directs.

You can sign up by entering your email in the box in the sidebar to the right.

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

17 Comments | Filed Under: faith, fear