Have you ever let numbers define your worth?  I have.  When I was in school I let me grades define me.  When I was a young professional in public relations, I let publicity numbers define me.  When I was a young parent, I let the age my children  slept through the night or got out of diapers define me as a mom.   It took understand God’s truth about my value to break that cycle of numbers.

In the July issue of the P31 Woman magazine, my friend Lysa TerKeurst writes a great article about not being defined by numbers.  I did a radio interview yesterday where I invited the listeners to stop by my blog and I would post a portion of the article.  But with Lysa’s permission, I’m posting the entire article.  So if you are joining me from the Seekonk Massachussets area – a special welcome!!  Enjoy this great article!

I’m not defined by the numbers

by Lysa TerKeurst

A few years ago, I was in my exercise class when the gal next to me leaned over and told me she’d spent the weekend with her sister.  They’d had a good time but she was concerned.  It seems this sister had gained quite a bit of weight.  I was half listening and half straining to lift my aching legs and crunch my screaming stomach.  Suddenly, I snapped to attention when she quipped, “I mean I can hardly believe it.  I think my sister now weighs like, 150 pounds.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh out loud or just keep my hilarious little secret to myself.  That “ghastly weight” my workout friend was so horrified by was the exact number that greeted me that very morning on my scale.  And I was standing on one foot just in case that might slightly reduce the number. 

About this time, the exercise instructor directed us to grab our jump ropes, which abruptly ended the “overweight” sister conversation.  The rest of the practice I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.  I so desperately wanted to yell out three glorious words: “I AM FREE!”  For in that moment, I saw a small indication of victory with an identity disorder I’d battled for a very long time. 

Like many women, I’d struggled with a flawed perception of myself.  My sense of identity and worth seemed dependent on what other people thought of me.  If I sensed I wasn’t measuring up, I would kick into either withdrawal mode or fix-it mode. 

Withdrawal mode made me pull back from relationships, fearing other’s judgments.  Walls were built around my heart to keep people at a distance. 

Fix-it mode made me overanalyze others’ every word and expression looking for ways to manipulate their opinions to be more pleasing toward me.

Both of these are crazy cycles.

I found great joy in realizing her statement hadn’t rattled me. Though not at my goal weight, I was in the process of investing wisely in my health and spiritual growth.  I had been diligently filling my heart and mind with God’s truths during this journey, and these truths were protecting me.  In that moment I could feel the Holy Spirit filling me with a calm reassurance.  And it felt absolutely great to mentally say to myself, “150 pounds isn’t where I want to be- but it’s better than where I started!  It’s tangible evidence of progress, and progress is good!”

I got a faint remembrance of some verses from Isaiah I’d recently marked in my Bible.  Later, I looked them up and though God was clearly talking to a ruler who probably had very different struggles than I have, His words were amazingly comforting.

… “I will go before you (I knew this comment would be made in exercise class this morning)

…and will level the mountains (and I made sure the Holy Spirit had the exact verses you’d need to remember even if only faintly to protect you from what could have been a huge hurt to your heart);

…I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron (I will break through the lies that could have imprisoned you and made you doubt your true worth).

… I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places (In the most unlikely places I will bless your efforts and reward your perseverance with small indications of your victory),

… so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name (I love you, Lysa.  I loved you when you weighed almost 200 pounds.  I loved you at 167.  I love you at 150.  I love you and no number on the scale will ever change that.  I’m not taking you on this journey because I need you to weigh less.  I am taking you on this journey because I desire for you to be healthy in every sense of the word.  I know your name, Lysa.  Now, rest in the security of my name and all that it means to your identity.)  Isaiah 45: 2-3.

That’s why it’s so important we fill our hearts and minds with God’s words and make His truth our new reality with food and our identity.  The Holy Spirit uses God’s words stored up inside us to nudge us, remind us, redirect us, empower us and lead us on to victory. 

I wish I could give you a more definitive formula for using spiritual truths to get on the right track with getting healthy.  If only I had something a little more packaged and step-by-step, and not so reliant on having to make the choice to listen to the Holy Spirit.  Listening for God’s voice or nudges from the Holy Spirit is scary to some people.  And for some it may open up a flood of spiritual insecurities. 

But, one thing I can assure you, God wants to be in communication with us.  If we dedicate our healthy eating journey to God, He’ll make sure the Holy Spirit will be with us every step of the way. And wrapped in that reminder is a power beyond what we can muster up ourselves. 

I’m a Jesus-loving girl on a journey. Because of God’s truth, I’m in a great place right now.  I can can step on the scale and simply see an indication of how much my body weighs, not the worth of who I am. 

I smiled at my new reaction.  I smiled that I didn’t mentally start chastising myself for not loving raw veggie sticks of the green and orange variety.  I didn’t melt into a puddle of tears.  My mind didn’t start racing to where I might find the next greatest fad diet.  I simply smiled.  I am eating healthier and exercising appropriately, and making progress therefore, I’m in a good place.

This conversation about a 150-pound sister didn’t define me in any way.  I simply chuckled and moved on while humming that song from the animated movie “Shark Tales” … I like big butts and I cannot lie …  

This was truly a glorious life moment for me.  I couldn’t put my finger on the exact moment I finally got past my weight insecurities that have haunted me for years.  But this interaction was living proof that, finally, I was on the right track. 

 This article taken from Lysa’s new book, “Made to Crave – satisfying life’s deepest desire with God not food.”  For more information on Lysa and her books go to www.LysaTerKeurst.com where she blogs daily.  Lysa is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries, best selling author, speaker for Extraordinary Women, wife to Art, and mommy to five priority blessings.

To buy Lysa’s book, click here.