Comments for Glynnis Whitwer

Comment on It’s getting harder to make friends by KatRich

KatRich — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 03:14:53 +0000

I agree with what you said about social media being the source of so much loneliness, because real connections are not required on them. I worry about young adults today, so many seem unable to attach, perhaps in part because they don’t have face to face interactions, complete with emotions. Its so easy to present another self online or by texting.

As far as finding friends, some times we don’t want to make the first move. My husband is a military man, so I’ve been relocated, and I’ve had to be alone. I’ve moved several times throughout my life, more than 100 miles each time, and to keep from drowning in self-pity, I made efforts to find friends. Often groups are already established, but I’d just sorta connect myself to a group I enjoyed, usually at church, sometimes at the kids playground. It took effort. I also have often been the first move to reconnect with someone from my past, and made the effort to keep that relationship alive.

I think many people want to have and be a friend, they just don’t want to take the first step to build a relationship. I have found that to have friends requires that we first try to be a friend. Everyone needs one, and God gave us friends to travel through life’s journey with. One thing I know for sure, when it seems no one else is there, Jesus is, and He is the perfect friend.

Comment on It’s getting harder to make friends by Helen

Helen — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:43:35 +0000

Hi Heather! I agree with you.
That inattention I see it everyday. In my collective, in which I’ve been now for about 4 years we are like stranger to each other. These people don’t seem to care, they seem to live only outwards, people who don’t share common memories.

Comment on It’s getting harder to make friends by Helen

Helen — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:04:57 +0000

People usually say that you have to be the first to share things, thoughts with others and then friendship will come along, otherwise they simply won’t care about you. But what do you do when you are the one that takes that step and still nobody is noticing , nobody is listening?
Someone said here that if you hide your struggles you lose in the end. But don’t you lose more when you reveal yourself and still nobody cares??

Comment on Clutter-Free Day 15 – The Importance of perspective by jackie s

jackie s — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:32:04 +0000

I’ll 4th, 5th, and 6th this post! This has probably one of the hardest weekends i’ve had in a long time – finally got back to finishing your series. The word I needed today (and all days) is PERSPECTIVE. About my marriage, my children, my job, my home,…and being that perfect (nope) Proverbs 31 woman.

Comment on It’s getting harder to make friends by HJ

HJ — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 14:59:26 +0000

This really made me realize how thankful I am for a friend that God put in my life almost exactly a year ago. She’s one of those kind of friends that your connect with instantly and know you’re going to be “besties” from the get-go. Her entrance into my life was no coincidence. She attended my church, joined my prayer team, her kids went to my kids’ school.
When we met, my family was looking for a place to live (since the market had forced us into a short sale). Her dad is a real estate investor and got us into a great house for much cheaper than our mortgage had been! Praise God!
Then my marriage started to go wacky…she was there for me since her husband had battled and won many of the same battles my husband was facing.
In the midst of that, my 63 year old healthy mom got brain cancer and died 83 days after her first symptom. I had to go to another state for almost 3 months to be with her as she died. I can’t tell you how important it is to have a friend that not only you can call during such a difficult time but that you know is praying for you AND helping with my kids back at home.
Now my troubled marriage (or should I say troubled husband?) is back on the front burner so of course I want to lean on my friend some more….
…and yet God has led her family to move to another state. I know better than to question why God would take my friend away now. But I look back and realize how hard this last year was and wonder where I would be if she hadn’t been there at that EXACT moment. Wow. So today I am PRAISING GOD for His awesome timing and so thankful I had my friend for the worst year of my life…..and that we both have Verizon and can talk for free!!!lol

Comment on It’s getting harder to make friends by Heather Bireley

Heather Bireley — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 12:46:16 +0000

I think that it is very easy to be lonely these days. We have recently changed churches because of work schedules and NO ONE at our former church, which we attended for about 7 years, has ever picked up the phone and called to find out how we are or emailed or anything. It feels very lonely where we are and very disheartning to find that even at church no one seems to care. I am struggling with feeling isolated and dealing with job issues and have no one to talk to.

Comment on It’s getting harder to make friends by Chris

Chris — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 04:20:49 +0000

How has God used loneliness? Only by using hindsight can I see this. We moved to NC two+ years ago when my hubby retired from the USAF. We moved from the military life where you have instant friends and connections when you criss-cross the country – even the world – every 3 years. But this move to NC was completely different. Charlotte is not a military town. There is no built in support system. There aren’t many who understand this tough transition.

On top of all this was a growing depression. Two years later – I am seeing that God has been using my loneliness to teach me that He is there. Always. I tried to make new friends and learned quickly that there are not many people I can trust. People don’t want to be friends with a depressive held in the tight grip of the darkness. But I am seeing God in all this.

Yes – I am still lonely. Despite a husband, two kids and three dogs. But I am trusting that God will bring the friendships and relationships into my life that will cause that to wane … more patiently somedays than others. I am also involved in Celebrate Recovery – this support system has been a true answer to prayer in many, many ways.

Comment on It’s getting harder to make friends by Raechel

Raechel — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 01:34:02 +0000

Hi,
Yes, I think God gave us loneliness to draw close to Himself and others. However, I think before the age of technology, we were so glad to see each other and rejoicing and sharing was so much more indepth and vibrant when people did encounter each other. Now we fill ourselves with tidbits on facebook and elsewhere and so when we do see each other it is easier to not devour and savor the encounter. It’s a quantity vs quality change in times. I must admit that I enjoy my facebook but if I could trade it for genuine, deep, close encounters occasionally I think I would. Does anyone else have the time and longing? Thankfully God does. And thank you for the blog. It made me realize some feelings that I was setting aside in my day to day rush.

Comment on It’s getting harder to make friends by M

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 21:32:53 +0000

Hey Lisa,
I am in exactly the same situation. In a sense, I blame myself for much of how I feel, as I regret how I handled and failed to trust in a relationship which came my way as I was about to hit 40. There are actually many, many of us in the 40-something age bracket who feel the same way and I think as women, we feel it a bit more. I try not to get too hurt about friends who don’t stay in touch much, if at all, and think well, they have kids and very busy lives (but yes of course it stings!) Pray that the loneliness will be taken care of and believe a special person will still come along! You’re certainly not alone (I too shirk from the idea of new groups etc but little steps maybe…)

Comment on It’s getting harder to make friends by Robin

Robin — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 17:28:48 +0000

This is such an excellent devotion. I know that all the years I was at home
With my children I felt isolated because there wasn’t anyone to call friend.
Now that the kids are grown I am trying to start a women’s group at church
to address this very thing with the women of all ages. It is very difficult, because
there seems to be a fear of being real. I know God is in this and that he will
heal the women.