Insecurities are like bruises. They come from wounds on the inside, always show on the outside (eventually) and hurt when they get bumped.
Recently my husband and I got into a disagreement where our insecurities brushed up against each other. It wasn’t really a fight, but both of us were like our dog Sammie when she sees another dog … the hair on the back of our necks was up and we were ready for it.
The issue was a purchase we were considering. And when it comes to spending money, my foot is hard on the brakes almost all the time, and my husband is willing to press the gas when it’s worth it. Usually we complement each other, but this time things weren’t looking good.
Before it could escalate, I realized what was happening. Our insecurities had bumped up against each other and we were both feeling pretty vulnerable. I was worried about not having enough money, and he was feeling like he wasn’t a good enough provider.
Thankfully we worked it out, but not before we both over-reacted and said things that needed apologies.
On my Encouragement for Today devotion today I told about another time my reaction wasn’t stellar. I was feeling insecure about my value (which for years I connected to my performance) and when my performance wasn’t acknowledged by my peers, I was hurt.
We all walk around with insecurities. Every one of us has something inside that feels less-than. The list of our insecurities can be long. Maybe you feel insecure about one of these areas:
- Your financial situation
- Your physical size
- Your lack of experience in a specific area
- Your lack of talent in a specific area
- Your looks
- Your age
- Your personality
- Your homemaking abilities
- Your career potential
- Your children
When we feel less-than in any one of these areas, we have the potential to be hurt when someone intentionally or unintentionally bumps against us with a comment (or lack thereof), a photo on social media, a closed door of opportunity, or even their success in any of those areas.
Insecurity can make us do very wonky things. But there is an alternative. Let’s take a look at the opposite of insecure, and that’s secure.
An item is secure when it is attached to something immovable. For example, if I’m camping and secure the tent to the metal tent poles, and the tent poles are secure in the immovable ground, the tent won’t fly away at the first gust of wind.
But when something isn’t secured to an immovable object, there is always the chance of damage when it faces opposition. And knowing our insecurities can be hurt, makes us very protective of them. Sometimes we can be a bit prickly … or we might hide.
But what a difference it makes when we secure the truth about ourselves to the immovable truth of God. That truth can’t be shaken by circumstances because God can’t be shaken.
So how do we do this? First, we have to realize that we have developed bad thinking habits. And like any bad habit, it takes time to develop a good ones.
For years I had the wrong thought that my worth was connected to my work. So when I did something well, I felt good about myself. When something flopped, so did my self-worth.
But finally, after years of being a Christian, I learned that my worth comes from my position as a dearly loved child of God. I have value that is not at all connected to how well I did on a test, or how many women showed up at a Mother’s Day Tea, or my title at work.
That’s the second step. We take wrong thoughts captive and replace them with truth from Scripture.
It took years and years of speaking God’s truth over my mind, before I would really accept that truth. And even then, as my devotion revealed, going through a time of spiritual drought can put me right back in that place where I’m looking for affirmation on how well I did from others. And then I realize I need to renew my mind with God’s truth.
The good news is we can apply this idea to any area of insecurity we face. Find truth in God’s Word about your area of insecurity and attach your thoughts and beliefs to that truth … then you will know the immovable true source of security.
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I’m praying God’s truth starts to renew your mind today!